Last week, I covered belief systems and stories that keep us from parenting in the ways that we want in my FB group: Soul Centered Mama Tribe, because the reality is that what keeps us from connecting with our children in the way that we desire is not our child's behavior, but the way that we interpret their behavior, and then react to it. Our reactions can either help us and our children release their feelings or can force them to bury their feelings and create emotional patterns that keep them stuck in the same emotional loops and reactions that we ourselves are stuck in.
The truth is that all children demonstrate similar behavioral patterns when they are upset. If you get a group of parents together, they will all talk about the same kinds of grievances, regarding their children's behavior. This is because as humans we are all wired to react to things that are making us uncomfortable and feel bad, and when we don't get the opportunity to feel these things, they continue to come up until they are released...here lies the problem, most of us lack the tools to learn to release and help our children release.
One of the reasons that I start client services with soul readings, is because when you can understand the purpose for your child being in your life, understand the energies that they are here to help you release, and also understand - emotionally - that they are here to push specific buttons to help you release old hurts and old stories and beliefs, amazing things happen. You begin to connect naturally. You begin to see the magic unfolding with yourself and your child. You begin to see the purpose of your relationship unfolding in-front of you, as they help guide you, and the challenges that you feel become your greatest teachers. You begin to heal and move forward with them - immediately. Here is what one mamma is saying about soul readings:
Violet moon provided me with a power insight. That almost immediately provided clarity. It opened my mind and my heart. Many of my questions about my troubled relationship with y son were answered. Honestly after her reading things began to improve. Thank you so much.
~ Krissy T.
You can read what other mammas are saying here.
Once these things are understood, the question then becomes: how do I learn to tackle these behaviors and begin to connect with my child in a way that helps them release what they are feeling while helping me learn to understand their behavior? And what I have found is that there are 4 primary ways that I have learned to push beyond the uncomfortable moments, so that I can connect with my child and start to undo patterns or behavior in myself. They are:
1. Taking care of myself. This is the most important part of my motherhood journey.
The Truth is that I can't take care of my children and react to them in the way that desire - from love - if I am not taking care of myself.
2. Mindset work.
Learning to separate my thoughts from the moment, so that I can feel into what my children need. It's easy to get caught up in a mind loop; my child is being difficult, I can't deal with this, why are they doing this, they do this to make me crazy, I am so done...when we are not taking care of ourselves (#1) and not taking care of our mindset regularly.
3. Listening to what my feelings are telling me.
This one can be difficult for some moms, because we've been taught to stop feeling and keep moving forward. But when you're not listening to what you're feelings are telling you, the easiest thing to do is project those same feelings (that belong to you) into your child.
4. Making a conscious effort to do something that we enjoy to do together - consistently.
When you make it a point to focus on positive things, positive things happen. It's easy to focus on things that happen, moments that are uncomfortable and feelings that make us grumpy, because it's what we're used to. But when you make it a conscious effort to enjoy your time with your child, consistently, it's becomes natural that when difficult moments happen, you're better able to move forward in a space of love, because you're in a space of loving flow. You're naturally looking for the good, rather than focusing on the upset.
I made it an intentional habit to let the biggest struggles, BE my teachers. I know that when I am struggling with a certain behavior, pattern, upset, etc., over and over again, that this is where I have to lean into - rather than run away emotionally, and I face it, and look for the purpose. Beliefs and stories come together/apart here.
We all have moments that are challenging, but the more that we learn to understand them and learn to flow with our children, and the rough moments, the more we can learn to understand what our children are trying to tell us and show us, while learning to grow together with them.
Want to learn more about soul readings and how it can help you become a more conscious parent? Schedule your free 30 min. clarity call here, and learn how I can help you today...and to explore these themes this week, join me in the Soul Centered Mamma Tribe, today.