Let's talk about how we can start to learn about stories, behaviors and habits, and learn to move forward now, shall we? For starters, let's talk about the principles of energy. Everything that is, is made up of energy: us, our children, our lives, our loved ones. As we move through life, the energy that is within us, is made up of the many different experiences that we've had, and are shaped by our perception or the way that we view life.
Our children, as we are, have certain energies that are present within them - believe it or not, all children are born, carrying the energy of the time before their birth (up to a year before their birth and your pregnancy). This energy that they carry within, manifests without as emotions, predispositions in behavior, preferences...this is why many times, we instinctively tell pregnant women, not to be in places that may cause them upset or may cause them or their baby harm. We know this emotionally, but when we think about the effect of what this means, after the baby is born, a lot of things can come into perspective. When we start to apply this, to who our children are now, it is possible to not only understand certain behaviors, and predispositions, but we can also learn how to start to move into different situations with an intuitive understanding of what we need to do to help our child in a way that is helpful for them.
This understanding, is more helpful to us, when our children are still very small. I'd say possibly under three years old. This is because as they start to get older, their personalities and reactions start to become colored by experiences that they have within their world - but, the younger that a child is, the more true they are to their nature - to the essence of who they are. If you have a younger child, who you'd like to try to understand in this way (or an older child, who you want to start to trace and understand some of their core personality or traits), one of the best ways to start, is to start to look at the time before your pregnancy, your pregnancy, and their birth - energetically. For instance, you can ask yourself, did I have a calm pregnancy? What was that time like? When I think about that time, was I excited? Was I timid to life and fearful? Was I ready to leap into life? How did I feel about myself and the people around me? What was my outlook? Then begin to look at your child and their predispositions. Does anything about who they are remind you of the times before or during your pregnancy? How can you use this understanding to help them now? Or to help you view and react with them in a way that is helpful and conducive to creating balance?
Another exercise, is to start to look at your birth. Our births are great examples, and predictors into future stuff with our children. I can literally go back into the birth of all of my kids, and think of a few adjectives that describe them. For example, my twin son's birth, was done via a c-sec., and they are both, very analytical, they are practical, and very logical...as to where my daughter's births were in a birthing center, where I labored naturally with little to no intervention from my midwives, and they are both very free spirited. They have a very organic view of themselves and life. My last baby's birth was very long, and it was a practice in patience. This little dude is just like this. It takes him a long while to open up to things that are new or take him a while to open up to, and I know that I have to have a lot of patience with him when it comes to anything that is new. Understanding them in this way, helps me guide them in ways that are helpful to their personalities. I don't expect them to be any one that they are not. These are all energetic things that I notice about my children, in relation to my birth, but there is also so much more, that will just be too long to get into now...but you get the point.
The purpose for me telling you this, is because #1 when we start to understand the core of who our children are and their energetic make up, we can stop fighting who they are and align ourselves with their needs...especially when they are younger and we are still figuring things out - and #2 because I sincerely believe that it's time for us to start to understand how the energies that are present within our home, are playing out in our lives...as they say, energy speaks louder than works, and in a world that is made up of energy, the one who understands it, is king (in your case queen - my goal is to help you start to understand how these energies are playing out in your home, so that you can realign and find harmony)...
...now, of course this is not the be all end all of why certain behaviors or things that we don't fully understand occur - this is just the beginning...it's the tip of the iceberg, and only a basic understanding to the energies that make a part of our children and our selves, and how they shape and affect our homes. Beyond this, there are other factors that come into learning how to understand our children so that we can align with the natural flow of who they are and guide them in a way in which we struggle less, but it is my purpose to start to begin these conversations, so that mothers can learn how to begin to understand their children in a more holistic way.
To learn more about how to understand these principles, and how to apply them into your live, you can schedule a call with me HERE, or book a reading with me HERE.
At some point, I came to the understanding, that parenting was not something that happened to me, as a result of a pregnancy, but something that I am consciously creating and breathing life into. Something that has a tone, a life force and something from which I constantly grow - and when this understanding arrived, it was a defining moment that has shaped me and something that keeps me striving to find other levels of understanding and growth with my children.
For me, spirituality in parenting is that thing that is always forcing me to look within for the answers to the issues that I might be having without, and always bringing me back to a place within myself where I discover hidden jewels of knowledge through my children, their roles in my life, my past experiences, and through my learning to release what might not serve us as a family. Spirituality in parenting is a constant flow - like water. It is gaining wisdom internally constantly though our experiences, our children, and other factors within our lives. It forces me to think about whether I am parenting out of habit and fear, or am I parenting from a place of learning how to continually respect who my children are as individuals, and helping them grow into their potential: it's hard for many of us to be in this space because for so long we have been parenting according to influences that are outside of our selves, creating havoc in our lives and the lives of our children.
Understanding the Soul Journey™, that I share with them, as well as the journey that I am on myself, helps me set myself and them free to the chains of the past, expectations and struggles that go along with a lot of behavioral stuff (doesn't mean that I don't have challenges, I just meet them as opportunities to grow), because the truth is that I don't want them to see the world through my clouded filters of yesterday, and through my reactions. I want to free them from these things, giving them the full understanding of their own emotions and actions, so that they can go into the world with as little past issues as possible. I realize that my influence is heavy on their future. I realize that conditioned thinking of what a "good child'' or "bad child" is, is just that, a conditioning. My job is not to label, but to help them in the moment to understand what's going on, so that they can grow from each experience - having a double effect: one on them, and another one on me. One of my questions to myself is always, how can I free them from this action or reaction, if I put it into them, through my actions and reactions?
The traditional western way of raising children (the ego) tells us that we, the adults - the parents - are the older ones and therefore are the ones who know more and should be listened to. But I have realized that it's not about this. It's more about learning how to listen and understand the world in a different way. I learned to uncover layers of buried hurt, by allowing them the freedom to feel as they do, and be who they are - while guiding them through the world. By allowing myself to learn with them, and looking for ways to solve our issues in creative ways that help all of us, rather than in ways that quiet them, and may serve only me.
Being a spiritual mama, who strives to keep myself and my children aligned to our spirits and our soul purposes, means learning to always question the purpose for our challenges, learning to release the hold on things being, 'a certain way,' or having to be 'because I said so'. I've learned to move along with them in this journey. My goal is not to raise complacent humans, or to raise human beings that have to fight through layers of childhood hurt in adulthood - like myself, or many other adults are doing right now - but rather raise humans that can change with the seasons, have emotional intelligence, understand where life is taking them, learn how to lean into what is necessary for their growth, and in order to do this, I need to do this myself...here lies the magic - and that which I offer other mamas that are searching for ways to connection and harmony. The gift of learning how to remove what is chained to a past that does not serve, so that they can move into what is being created now...learning how to become soulful mamas, as we learn to understand the spirituality in parenting.
Soul Mama Blog
Blog to help mamas, on their journey: with the various parts of motherhood and life.