In my FB group, Soul Centered Mama's Online Tribe, I do a weekly (cards for the week) forecast oracle card reading.
I pull three cards from The Mystic Shaman Oracle deck, where I post the over all energy of the week.
The card above, was last week's card (2/23/20).
The cards talk about the energy of being grounded in mundane life, loving the ones closest to us, by choosing to see, the highest in those around us, and to be aware things that may seem like down falls - for they may be opportunities, in disguise.
Those cards for me, were exactly what I needed to remember to keep aligned with the things that are important to me.
Over the last few weeks, I have been intentionally creating and cultivating peace within my life.
My goal this year, is to be intentional and find peace within my life, and to let that flow through my life.
A few weeks ago, I made the decision to take a few days of peace and rest, and to me that meant spending a lot of my time in our healing room.
I took the time to write.
To listen to my soul and to my self.
To remember what was important to me and my life.
As a highly intuitive person, it's very easy for me to get lost in other things and people.
I can sense emotional pain in others and my automatic desire is to want to help.
Somewhere, within there, I got lost.
The short while that I spent here, about 3 weeks, helped me reclaim a lot of things that I'd forgotten about myself.
In doing that, and giving myself what I needed, I have found what I am looking for.
During that time, I realized that I have been giving myself away to everything and everyone but me.
I saw how me giving away every piece of me, to everything and every one around me, affected me to the point that I forgot who I was.
And to make it worse, I didn't realize that how far I'd gone, until I had nothing left to give.
The cards that came up last week, were so on point, because they aligned me with the truth that, the reason that I was feeling the way that I was, was because I gave so many parts of myself away to everything. I got lost in duties, and to dos, and other things like this.
I was reminded that what I am looking for is in those around me, and in my everyday, and in small little things that can go awry.
I love how these cards align so perfectly for me, just like they do the same for the other ladies in the group.
Today, I want to invite you to join Soul Centered Mama's Online FB tribe, if you're interested in seeing the weekly forecast.
They are drawn every Sunday, and posted every Monday morning, for the group.
You can apply HERE, to get the cards for this week.
Go here, to join the group.
No matter what you're looking for, everything starts with learning how to be in stillness.
- not passing down traumas,
- connecting deeper with your children,
- connecting to your higher self,
- learning to put yourself first,
or learning how to conduct spiritual practices that connect you deeper to spirit,
The first place that all have to begin is with learning how to center and find stillness.
This is where everything else comes from.
This is where you can find and learn how to listen to the voice within you that knows the answers and will lead the way, and help you on the path that you're looking for.
With so many different methods out there, and so many different ways and tools, that people use, it can be challenging for you, or anyone to find something that works to keep you on track. Many people as me constantly, how do I start, or where do I start...my response, you start in the first place. Where it all began.
Today, in my FB group Soul Centered Mamas, I recorded a short audio recording for mamas who want to begin the journey into healing (whatever that means to them).
It's a short few minutes, where I guide them through the simplest breathing exercise that will help them begin the process of centering themselves to begin the process of learning how to become still, which leads into learning how to heal.
Do you want to listen to it? Head over to Soul Centered Mamas, to listen to it now.
This entire year, life has been forcing me to reassess everything that has made up my life for the last few years...
Up to this point, I was Violet, homeschooling mama of 5, nurturer, wife, soul reader.
I was the one who everyone went to when they needed emotional healing...this role was my pride and joy.
I was the one who brought people back to life.
The one who welcomed the emotionally starving, those who needed a mother's touch, the ones who's pain was deep and needed a resting place to recharge.
I marveled in this role, until life came knocking, and showed me how much I gave.
I became depleted.
Unable to give...worse yet, every time I tried to give from that place, I sank into a hole of sadness.
Nothing filled me.
I tried, my hardest to regain a shred of what I wanted (deep satisfaction and joy) and needed, only to keep coming back to the same place. Empty.
At about this time, internally, nothing felt right, on the outside, everything was starting to match what I was feeling inside.
Things started breaking and coming apart.
Like my way of operating with the people that I love.
It seemed like nothing that I did for them and to them, was enough.
Client work, drained me.
I stopped doing readings.
I stopped working.
My home life.
I started doing the bare minimum - just enough to keep going.
Feeding my kids, doing laundry so they could have clothes to go out.
Cleaning just so that we didn't live in filth.
I could not force myself to do anything at some points, except to just be.
Some days, just breathing was enough.
Some days, talking a walk.
Other days, watching my children play, and laugh with each other.
Slowly, during this time, the realization started to creep in, that what was missing was my connection to my inner self.
I've always been naturally connected to spirit, and can see the ebbs and flows throughout my life, but the missing component was my connection to my soul space that connects the flow within me.
I was looking outside of myself for that place that connects spirit to my life.
The missing ingredient I realize, was listening to my inner voice.
To my desires.
To my inner wisdom.
I stopped moving in auto pilot.
I stopped doing what I thought I was supposed to do, and started doing what my heart and soul desired.
I stopped over giving.
I discovered boundaries.
I found my voice.
I confronted the parts of me, that were running on programs of martyrdom and control, and I allowed them to teach me.
It's simple in how something so small can have such a big impact in my life.
Small because, the truth is that the magic of this is in the moments.
Saying no, when I don't want to.
Going on walks because it feels good, not because I have to.
Like, not trying to fix everything and letting things be what they are.
Magic because the more that I listened, the more that I felt connected to what I was looking for.
Infusing my spiritual tools: things like meditative yoga, ritual, meditation, tarot, astrology, into my life in a way that enhances it, with intention and helps me anchor spirit into my life.
When this process started, I decided to give into it.
Although I've always known that change brings so much amazing things to life, being in the process is something different - being forced to face, slowed me down.
Allowing change, to come in and redo my entire life, was not easy, but it was worth it.
This process has given me back to myself.
Given my back whole to my children and my home.
It's allowed me to show up and serve those who I am meant to.
It's helped me reclaim my passions, and reclaim myself.
Change is not easy, but it's worth it.
As I leave the old year behind and welcome the new year, I am allowing myself to be open to the changes that will bring me closer to myself and spirit.
To allow me to live aligned, inspired and connected to my life, my children, my home and those who I serve.
I ask you, how can you allow change to tune you in, and connect you to spirit, and the soul of your life?
What working with - and balancing - the energy of my sons looks like (stripping is down to the pure elements):
My twins are triple earth.
My baby boy is fire air.
I am air water.
I posted about the unbalance that was happening that caused me to have a panic attack a few months ago - here is some of the lessons and actions in their purest elemental energy, how they work in our lives, and how I've learned to understand and balance them and us...a simple parable like story to fill your consciousness...
Earth is solid. A foundation. Provides structure, grounding and stability.
Fire is alive. Contains the pulse of life force. It is life. Can bring destruction or new live. Air...
Air breath of life, flow of energy. Can carry and spread energy. Water, refreshing, rebirthing, nourishing, fluidity.
Air and water don't mix into each other. One is a separate entity from the other, and although they can ride waves together, they don't mix they will always be separate.
Earth and air. Air can fertilize earth to help spread seeds and grow new life, add water to the mix, you have the perfect combination to grow new life - unless you add to much, then you just have mud...
Air and fire. Air gives life to fire. Add to much it spreads out of control and burn alive everything around it. Add water to it, it burns out and dies.
Earth and fire. Fire burns whatever is on top of the earth. This can be seen as a good or bad thing. When we look at the fires in places like California it's apparent that it's unbalanced. Wild. Feral. Or in places live Hawaii, where it gives life to new growth, while it destroys things in it's path.
Once upon a time, air flew so very high from earth that it forgot to come back and nourish the seeds that it planted into the earth. Air became busy trying to pick us and spread what it found that it forgot to check in on water more often, that it ended up creating mud where once there were lush gardens.
Fire understood this, and saw that air had forgotten to come and spread seeds to earth and began to ravage and take over. The earth didn't like this and began to dry up and crack...where once stood lush forest, marshes, mountains of cascading waters, were barren lands, craving water and nourishment.
Air was busy trying to spread what it picked up far and wide, and high above in the clouds....
Meanwhile, fire was spreading more and more due to it having it's own little reserve of air...gathering more air, from the atmosphere, it grew bigger and bigger.
Finally, it grew so big that it began to take over everything.
Air finally taking notice that earth was drying out, and that fire was ravaging it, it decided to quickly consult with and work with it's natural alliance water. Joining forces, air spread water and contained fire.
Air over looked at what happened through time, and realized that in it's absence, fire, had dried out the mud that was created by over watering. It had also dried out parts that were at one point lush.
Air realized that in taking so much time to spread what it picked up far and wide, fire had gotten out of control and spread...
Air realized as it looked over at what happened over the time that it was away and learned that in order to help earth with it's new growth, it had to intentionally spread the seeds that it picked up along the way, and bring back water to nourish and fertilize new growth.
Air also realized that it had to contain fire, so that it could work with earth, spreading where necessary rather than wild and feral.
In this space, Air also realized that in recognizing itself in fire, being wild and free (something that Air remembers, like a long forgotten dream, but forgotten while it was overwatering earth), it forgot that earth too was important to the balance of the whole.
As it observes with presence, the interactions between earth and fire, it remembers that it's it's job to oversee the interactions between them while it glistens, reflects and expands with water.
In all of this air learned to find joy in watching it's reflection in water, as it spreads seeds onto earth while it's reflection, water, nourishes the seeds...
while also allowing fire the ability to burn away the things that become stale and dry. Air remembers not to give too much water to fire as to not drown it, or too much air as to not spread it, only keep it contained with water around the permitter kinda like a moat, as to not let is overtake the earth and ravage it.
It is learning to create utopia, in the balance of all if these parts that may seem separate...
it realized that in looking for Ether, it was neglecting the one integral truth, that ether was and is part of everything.
Once air remembered that, it was able to feel Ether as a deeper part of everything in Earth, Fire, it's mini Airs, and Water. Air remember that is didn't have to go looking for Ether because it was in all or it, air just had to intentionally see it, or spreading seeds because seeds spread naturally, and all in their time.
Occasionally, others come a calling Air to help spread the seeds that it's gathered, and it comes when her partner, Fire Earth is available, but Air remembers that the most important role that it has right now, is the cultivation that it's doing with earth, fire, and it's mini airs.
*No part of this post can be reproduced without consent of the author.
Through parenting, and in striving to release what does not serve myself or my home in order to intentionally create the home that I envision: one of harmony and understanding, togetherness, and a legacy of intentional and self perpetual healing, I learned (very early on) that the only way that I was going to input into them the conditions that they needed to become the best versions of themselves, was to become the thing that I was looking to create with them within myself, first.
We often say, that kids don’t do what we say, they do what we do, but we don’t fully grasp or hold onto what this means. This phrase often lights up different things within ourselves, that give us glimpses of the truth of parenthood, and yet, saying it, somehow doesn’t really capture, the total idea of what it is that we are really supposed to do, in order to be somewhat successful with the values that we are longing to instill into our children.
This creates a dual energy in that while I am continually striving to heal and help them, I am first doing the same to me.
The truth is that our children often elicit from with us, the exact conditions that we need to heal ourselves.
It becomes part of a process in which we are looking into ourselves so that we can go beyond our limits through them, and release the things that no serve us.
The important thing to understand is that this is a process in which we are facing ourselves - even though our children give us the mirror, if we learn how to accept it - and learning how to heal though them.
It’s a dual process that shows us how to release, in order to transform events and experiences into healing.
In this entire process, I have a few tools that I use, to help me get the most out of times that seem tumultuous, but the one that I use consistently through time, is silence.
When understood, silence is a powerful tool, to help us understand, release and deal with things that arise within our lives.
It helps us understand the things that are happening with our children, and spouses.
One of the things that I teach my clients, very early on, is about the importance of silence, so that they can learn to understand the things that are stirring within them, and in their homes.
I help them use silence as a tool, to gain access to the feelings and emotions that they are holding onto, I help them learn how to use what they find, when they are in silence, and turn those things into a process that will help them uncover what they are looking for.
As quoted above,
“Silence is the language of God, all else is poor translation.”
This practice is something that when we understand it, it can lead us to become closer to the parts of ourselves that we seek.
This process, when used properly, by someone who can properly dive into their emotions and feelings, or who has available help from someone who can help them through the process, becomes very powerful because it helps them learn to unlock the secrets to what they are looking for.
Throughout the last few year, allowing myself to sit in silence, sometimes for days at a time have given me back what I’m looking for.
I know that there are a lot of people who can’t sit in silence because they fear what’s within it, or what will come up - to those I say don’t, but for the ones that want to understand themselves, the ones who come to work with me via Spiritual Transformational Guidance.
Allowing myself to sit with myself in this process, does a few things for me and my family.
1. It helps me first, learn how to take responsibility for what is happening within me.
When we are in places that don’t seem like where it is that we want to be, or when we are lost and confused, when things are happening that feel painful from within us that we don’t quite understand, it’s easy to blame other things or people, and in doing this, we forget that we always have a choice, in our lives, or that we are in a place that is a result of choices that we’ve made leading into the point where we are.
Being in silence helps me see that it’s ME that is having what ever issue is coming up.
I recognize that my feelings are mine and not the other person’s. I am able to see the truth of why I’m feeling a certain way.
When you allow yourself to be in silence for a few days it helps you be able to see what’s coming up as a part of something that is stirring within you and not the others.
You take back your the narrative of your story.
2. It has helped me take responsibility for my emotions and reactions.
Some of the worst stuff comes up when we are in places of pain. We do or say things that we don’t mean. We do things out of hurt and pain, because we are in hurt and pain. Being in silence allows us to stop that stuff before it bubbles up.
Silence allows me to keep reactions that can do more harm within, while I process. Like I said above, we cause harm in these places because it’s easy to not catch reactions and words that we don’t mean in moments of deep feeling. But when in silence, its easier to see what's going on, and therefore, one is able to understand what is happening outside of the self, without being harmful to the ones around.
I can learn to understand where the automatic reactions can come from, and learn how to process what’s coming up in a way that can be more helpful for myself, in doing this, I have learned how to cultivate the reactions that I want to have.
3. When I’m not reacting constantly, I am able to learn how to listen.
We know how to hear, but the art of listening is lost.
I’m a talker, I’ve always been, and in being a talker, I’ve learned over the years, that it’s easy to not listen.
When we’re not listening we are not learning.
When I’m allowing silence, I’m listening.
When I listen, I can see where I can be wrong, or where I’m not paying attention. Life is a game of perception, and because we, in any given moment - especially when we’re in spaces of tumultuous energy - can only see our own perception, it’s easy to make everything about what we think or feel. It’s easy to rob people of their experience in only seeing our own perception, and in turn not listen to others. But when I allow silence to reign for a time, I force myself to see the perception of the others around me…which leads me into…
4. I stop projecting.
Blame, stops with me.
When we project into others we give them our hurts or assumptions. It becomes difficult to deal with the real issues when we are projecting our issues into our homes, families, and others.
When I stop projecting what I’m feeling into them, it’s easier for us to come up with solutions to whatever is happening much faster, because I am seeing what is coming up within me, I am allowing them to be without my voice, I am not putting into them, what I think is happening.
Instead, I/we deal with the true energy that is working through all of us, allowing us to come together with a solution…in most cases understanding.
5. Silence helps me learn how to grow.
I am a firm believer that all the things that happen in our lives, happen to teach us, help us grow, or are parts of change in a cycle that are taking us into another place. The problem is that when we don’t know what it is that’s happening we can feel lost because we have so many voices telling us different things. We’ve forgotten how to listen to our own inner voice, our inner knowing.
Learning how to use silence appropriately teaches us how to listen to this place. It teaches us to learn to understand our own voice, and helps us release opinions, thoughts, or feelings that are not ours, things gathered through outside experiences.
Things like: parents, news, social media, movies, etc. When we become silent we learn how to listen to our inner self.
Being in silence is one of the most powerful tools that I work with, in order to help me move forward.
It helps me learn how to shift into where I’m growing.
It helps me heal, and it helps me connect more deeply to the ones around me, as well and equally as important to my inner self.
I am able to transform myself in life.
Becoming and using silence, within my life, has become a silent meditation that helps me evolve and constantly search and find what I am looking for.
I’m learning more and more, that what I and we, are all looking for, is the way to find ourselves and our truths.
Truths that will help us evolve through the challenges that happen in life, and learn how to change the relationship that we have with these challenges.
Over the years I’ve learned that challenges are not about the challenges, but more about the way that we see and tune into what’s happening, so that what does happen gives us back to ourselves.
A process of undoing what’s not ours, so that we can reclaim ourselves.
When we understand this, everything can and does become our teacher: our children, events, partners, parents, life. When this happens, life becomes like a walking meditation, where we are able to explore ourselves and grow.
Silence, is one of the tools that gets us there.
Do you want to know more? Or connect with me so that I can help you tune in and transform in your life?
Or schedule a reading with me here, or, to learn about Spiritual Transformation you can schedule a time to talk with me here.
“Silence is the language of God, all else is poor translation.”
*To Learn About How You Can Become A Guest Blogger, CLICK HERE*
Keeping a clean home is not about judgement – it is about staying in your flow and power (Guest Blog)
Garnering and maintaining energy while keeping up with the many duties that women, specifically busy mothers have to tackle daily can be daunting when the purpose of the duties are for others consumption and perception. As I grew and became more aware of my power as a woman, mother and manager of my home I realized how certain ideas that had been ingrained in me about keeping my home clean both helped and hindered my own energy and the energy of my home. Let me paint the scene:
“Her house is dirty – how is she letting people come to her dirty house”
“She a nasty woman – look at her house”
“Keep your house clean or others will look at you like you are nasty”
We all heard some variation of these statements growing up and more specifically as adults. In fact, women often struggle after delivery of their child with the idea of their homes not being clean – not from a perspective that a clean home will enhance their energy but from the perspective that they will be looked at unfavorably as a woman for keeping a nasty home. We must shift the viewpoint with which we filter many of the lessons we learned as women about our value from judgement of our selves to the power of our roles.
Keeping your home clean is essential because a clean home – the primary place of manifestation – is critical to keeping the abundance, clarity and goal accomplishment of the family. New things (ideas, thoughts, money, etc) can not enter into a space that is already occupied. Try to think your way into a new place with old thoughts…it won’t be able to manifest because you will have all those old thoughts blocking it. Same in a closet, you can have many beautiful clothes and shoes but if you do not clean out the closet you won’t even be able to appreciate what is there. So our elder women who tried to teach us about cleanliness were right, a clean home is critical but less about what people will think about you and more about your synchronicity and awareness of the spiritual energies that are more available to you and can flow through you when you keep your home clean. You can take this principle to your purse, your body, and your mind. Your inclination for cleanliness is primordial because as a woman you are of the flow of the energies of the universe and you desire that flow uninhibited.
So consider how your space will be kept clean without the fear of judgement but instead with the expectation of positive energetic flow. You can achieve a clean space relatively stress free when you expand your options. Consider having a cleaner come in once a week, solicit help from your mate and child(ren), and/or keep a cleaning schedule. I keep a cleaning schedule so that I can stay in flow with my desires. I literally clean and consider my goals and desired manifestations and lifestyle, this is a ritual for your mind, space and spirit. So I clean the bathrooms on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday so the tubs are always clean and smells good. I keep the kitchen clean daily and clean the refrigerator/baseboards monthly. Thirty minutes a day to freshen up the home has kept my sanity and energy flow high. The invisible mitigating forces that assist us in accomplishing our goals see our diligence and care appreciate it and reward our commitment. Some call these forces deities, gods/goddesses, spirits, pantheons, etc. I call them my grace.
My hope is that this gave you a different paradigm to think about your role and power. I also hope women see that generational stories have power to evolve and sustain or destroy. Being mindful of the simplest stories, how they’ve affected you and how you process them is critical to your evolution and changing generational patterns. Our power is in our ritual.
*To learn more, or become a guest blogger for Soul Centered Mama, go HERE*
The further I go into life, and as more years pass, I have learned to allow life to teach me lessons so that I may move, create and release what is not serving me, so that I can actually allow my life to become what I envision.
For me, this year, has been all about observation so that I can move into what I am actively trying to create.
Today I want to talk about the lessons, that 2018 has left me with.
In life, we are all always growing and evolving. Sometimes it’s easy to see, other times, it’s difficult.
As the new year is here, I realize now, in reflection of last, that the lessons that I have gathered throughout last year, have been lessons a-long-time coming.
Lessons that have transformed me at the core.
They have allowed me to release what is keeping me from stepping into life and have helped me keep embracing what I want to create.
Today, I want to share with you, the 5 things that I learned in 2018 that have transformed me and my life, deeply.
1. Stay off social media, in all its forms, as much as possible.
I know that in today's world it’s hard not to have some sort of social media account. We are all incredibly connected in so many ways. On one hand, social media and video platforms are a gift, in the sense that we can keep up with those that we love, and those who may be far away. It helps us learn, considering we literally have the world at our fingers. We can even help others through this platform.
But I’ve also realized how easy it is, to become extremely dependent and unbalanced because of these platforms.
I realized half way through the year, that I was using social media as a crutch and allowing it to take me away from my day to day. I post when I have to, respond to others and my clients, but I get on, and get off.
Which leads me to point number two.
2. Being present is where it’s at.
Often, we use devices and/or vices (isn’t it funny that the word vices is in the word devices?), to distract us from the things that we need to understand or see in our lives, so that we can grow from and through.
It’s easy to numb ourselves to the realities of what we are feeling and experiencing, especially when we don’t see or are not living the lives that we feel we should be.
3. Everyone needs support.
We all need someone in our corner to walk with us and guide us into what or where we are moving into.
We’ve been taught, have taken in, and have believed for far too long that we are islands and that we are supposed to brave things by ourselves. We think that pushing through and moving mountains makes us stronger, better, worthier (or whatever) humans… when the truth is that we all need support. Reaching out to people that support, love and trusts you is healthy, acceptable, and a part of self-love.
I'm finding more, and being more.
4. Being where you are is perfectly fine.
The idea of being, happy, content, joyful, aligned, etc., has been playing tricks with us for way too long. We have fallen into the trap that tells us that this is the way that things should be all the time, when the truth is another.
Life is full of many emotions and experiences, all with the purpose of teaching us something and helping us move into another space in our lives. All these places and feelings have a purpose, and the purpose is varied, but important, because these places help us unlock what is not serving us, so that we can move into what will. What we must do is stop judging these places as good or bad, and just allow them to be what they are. Check points along the way that are showing us ourselves.
I've learned this at other times, but revisiting it, is always a good thing. It reminds me that life is always unfolding and evolving.
5. Change is inevitable.
The nature of life is change. When we embrace it, we allow creations to give us just what we need to help us reach the things that we are striving for, the things that we desire, and to allow our lives to become the version of ourselves that we want to become.
This year has taught me many lessons, and what I keep coming back to is the fact that sometimes, the way doesn’t look the way that we think it’s going to look, sometimes, it’s messy and sloppy. Often, we’re presented with circumstances that feel like the exact opposite of what we want. But, when we open-up, allow, release, and surrender into our lives and what’s happening in it, we’re able to co-create what we desire because we allow ourselves to tune into what is being birthed from us.
Here’s to another year, where we can release the ties to those things that no longer serve us, so that we can act upon and create what will help us continue to heal, thrive, tune into, and fall in love with our lives...because when we learn how to actually LIVE in our LIVES, we can take what's happening, at any moment and grow.
"It's never about the thing itself, It's about what the thing represents."
- Violet Moon
Do you want to know how you can work with me?
To learn how I can help you understand what's happening now, and where to go from here, go here:
To learn how I can help you tune into your life, or the life of your children for transformative guidance go here:
One thing this entire year has become resoundingly clear to me, and that is, that the only thing that I can do while I'm in it, is to learn how to be in the thick of the muck, the hurt, the yuck, and own it, so that I don’t input it into my children or loved ones.
This year has been a year of LOTS of ancestral release, healing, understanding and facing - on more levels than I can say. I've had to face and move through months of things coming up also.
In this entire process the one thing that I keep coming back to, over and over again, is repeating the pattern of allowing the hurt to move through without reacting.
Let’s be honest, we all have hurts and things that feel gross, that come up - all of us. The only differences are the way that we process it.
It has come to my recent understanding over the last few months, that even though I offer different types of readings to my clients, the work that helps them the most is learning how to use the time of being IN IT, productively...meaning, using the time of the hurt, as an avenue for learning and self discovery.
Using this time to get the most of who you’re supposed to move into and grow from, while not inputting the echo into those around you… the phrase “challenging to do” seems to feel minuscule in comparison to the task.
I always say, when I talk about my approach to “healing” and facing the things that don’t feel great, is that it feels like I’m running towards a firing squad with my eyes wide open and arms outstretched.
This doesn’t mean that it feels great.
It doesn’t mean that I’m not often afraid of the stuff that is going to come up, and the things that I’m going to feel, but what it does mean, is that I understand the importance of allowing this stuff to come up, so that it can be processed, seen, heard, felt, understood healed and released.
Today, I want to share some of the parts of this process.
Time and time again, because I/you/we am/are human, there is always something that we are moving through.
In our moments or days, sometimes years, we are all sifting through something that is trying to come out and move through.
The magic in this process, comes in when we stop fighting it, and give into what it’s trying to teach us…
The levels vary - obviously, because we’re all human and different - and the purposes in our lives vary also.
The only way to actually get what these things are trying to tell us, and learn how to use them for their purpose and ultimately heal them and move forward, is to understand that there is something for us to release into and learn from…
In this process, when we allow, is when we will find the jewels. Today, I want to share with you, how to allow yourself to move into this place, while not inputting unnecessary stuff into the people around you, so that you can get the most of it.
First. Why is this important? To stop the hurt from affecting those around you? Well. I’ll say because when we’re in places that don’t feel too great, and we’re not owning it, what happens is that we have a great tendency to give to (or project) our pain into others.
Sometimes it’s easier to do this, than to own…but when we don’t own, we repeat.
Now. I want to add a note here, that projecting hurt, and finding people who get us, that we can confide, in are two different things - but that’s another topic… so here we go.
As hinted above, the first thing to do, is to begin to OWN your feelings.
Own that these things are yours, and no one else’s.
It’s very easy for us to blame others and to say…
or some other thing that is easy to say. But the truth is that, our feelings/emotions are ours. No one else's.
To constantly blame, finger point and project, keeps other people accountable for our feelings and emotions.
It becomes a never ending cycle of pain.
You/me/we project onto them, they do it back to us, and in turn to other people that they come across. Sometimes siblings (OH BOY does this happen…have you ever noticed that when you have a tough day or week, within a few days, or sooner - all of your kids are reacting to each other in ways that mirror your tough day/week?)...
...it happens. I have been working in this space, since my children were babies, but we all have times that feel tough and challenging. What's important is that we stop blaming ourselves also, and continue to allow ourselves to refocus into the bigger picture, that will help us in the moments.
After you begin to own your feelings and begin understanding that they are yours and no one else’s… your reactions coming from an earlier experience that echoed into your present moment (click here to listen to a SCM audioblog on emotions/feelings)…the next thing to do is to begin to learn how to pause your reactions, so that you can understand what they’re actually trying to tell you.
This is what I like to call, silent time.
I am a huge believer in silence…which is funny in a very ironic way, because any one that knows me personally knows that I talk A LOT.
When things are coming up, I take as much time as I need to sit with what’s coming up so that it can teach me, or tell me, what’s underneath the reactions.
During these times, I make it a point to only talk and interact when necessary.
When someone asks me a question.
When my children need guidance or if something needs my immediate attention.
If I have to talk on the phone (even this is limited) or go out… you get it. I ONLY talk when I have to.
The rest of the time, I’m silent.
I journal more...
I do deep breathing work...
I might meditate...
I might take a walk…
Take showers or a baths...
I do things that help me maintain my calm, while I’m analyzing what’s coming up.
Which leads me into the next thing.
I’ve learned how to view what’s coming up with a lens of cleansing, release, restructuring and healing.
This is something that requires some understanding.
The next thing, is that in these moments when things are coming up and I sit with them, to allow, I’ve
learned how to input instead, the reactions that I want to ripple.
I have learned that this process, over and over again, when I allow it, to show me, break me open, and guide me, always gives me what I need in the moments of stuff coming up for healing.
There is deeper work to do in this place, but when we learn how to understand the process and how to use it, we’re able to heal ourselves and stop the echo from moving into them.
The Ancestral Readings, were born during a time when I realized that my work was expanding into helping others see and work with deeper energies that were present within their family lines so that they could make changes to create - consciously create - what they wanted to see with their children vs, automatically putting into them (the parent), what was given to them as children…but before I began doing this kind of work for others, I began putting this work into my children and my home first.
This work began silently - as pretty much anything in life, that is part of our calling or purpose - before I was aware of it. Before I actually knew what I was doing.
It began with me as a child and teenager, loving children and being able to see their deep connection to spirit.
It began with me understanding that there was more to life, than what I could see with my eyes.
It began with me being able to see patterns and understand the energies that were surrounding me…only back then, it didn’t mean this. At first I thought that all people could do this, and then when I learned that that wasn’t the case, I thought that I was weird, and hid my abilities from everyone and everywhere.
But, because life is funny sometimes, I learned what it meant to actually do the deeper work of what I could see, in my home with my children, when I realized that I was creating the the opposite of what I wanted and believed. I became aware of this when my then 4 yo daughter, was not aligning with what I envisioned in my heart, for us.
This began my deeper work and my connection to the in-life - intentional (because before that I did this work on autopilot) - changing of the energies around me.
I realized that the habits, themes, actions and behaviors that I was putting into her, were not the habits that I wanted her (and my other children) to grow with. During this time, I also realized that I had some serious programming that was running on autopilot. Programming that I needed to release and change so that I could stop what I was doing the things that were not working.
I realized that we were playing out a story that had been set into motion years before I was even on this earth.
We’d been playing what I like to call the, “this is what was done to me, so I’ll do it to you,” game.
The reality hit that I had a lot of deprograming and changes to make, in order actually make the changes.
This sent me into a period in my time, that I call observation - a period in which I literally put everything on hold and just observed our entire life.
Our habits. Our interactions. My reactions. My thoughts. My patterns. My beliefs. Subconscious stories that I’d written, and was playing out. How these patterns played out in my children. My parents. How I reflected them, and how my children reflected me.
Everything, became a point of self reflection.
In it’s depth, this period lasted about 5 years (although I still move in this way often - especially when something is coming up that requires healing).
Understanding the what, where and why, became my focus so that I could understand my input, in order to change my output.
I became obsessed with making changes that would shift our lives, heal me and in turn heal them deeply.
During this time, I learned what it mean to put what I could see and understand into action…because truth be told, I can see the energies of everything all day long, but if I’m not putting what I see into action, they what’s the use?
The truth is that we are all, an amalgamation of our ancestors, the people, events and things that came before us, and when we learn to understand this, shift and evolve through it, rather than become entrapped in it, we evolve.
This time taught me how to deepen and strengthen my self awareness.
To learn to observe others outside of myself.
I learned how to challenge my self and beliefs.
How to stop auto reactions, and how to input what I wanted to create instead.
My insights and intuition deepened.
How to see the hurt, how to heal it, and stop it with me.
How to feel the feelings that those before me had suffered and fallen into.
I learned how to see my reflection in their actions.
I learned how to see my children for who they are, not what I perceived.
How to shift my mindset to help cultivate them, rather than fall into traps of hurt.
I learned how to grow in silence.
I learned how to forgive myself for my lack of perfection.
I learned how to input conscious creation and intention instead
I learned how to understand the process within this time, and how to use it to create.
I learned how to become the change.
It’s often said, that we have to know where we were, to know where we’re going - this time taught me that this is absolutely true.
The truth is that I am still always learning.
The future (or past) is not set in stone, and it is possible to make changes, to be the change that we want to see…we just have to be willing to do the work, the internal work, to change and heal.
This process comes again always at different times (usually when I feel like I have it all figured out HA!).
And each time, I gain something different - but always with the purpose of healing myself - and them - at a deeper level.
The truth is that ancestral work and readings, as well as my Soul Readings for the higher self of moms, and children, is all interconnected. It’s all part of the whole - part of the web or creation, that is always leading us home.
I started off my ancestral search (and I’m still not done), so that I could heal my children from what I’d done to them when I was blind, and the process brought me back home to myself.
This is the true meaning of when we heal the self, we heal the rest: 7 generations front, 7 back, and sideways as well.
Self healing, is ancestral healing, which is also child healing. It’s all connected.
Are you looking for deeper help to heal, transform, or move forward with something? Click HERE to learn how I can help you.
Or if Soul Readings are your thing, where I intuitively connect to to the other realms for you go HERE.
Emotions and feelings: Knowing the difference can Change your Life, bring Awareness and Help you Heal
I learned a long time ago, that for me to shift, into places of healing and understanding, that I had to start within first. One of the first places that I started, was with knowing and understanding the difference between emotions and feelings, and allowing these two different things to release what was mine, from what wasn't mine, and it allowed me to begin to release the behaviors and thoughts that were not serving what I wanted to create within my home, with my children and in my life.
In this week's, our audio blog, I talk about emotions and feelings, and how these things helped me make the changes that I was seeking, and how becoming aware of these things sent me into a rabbit hole, to discover and find what I'd been seeking.
The topics covered within are:
- the reactions of my children, and learning how teach them to react in the ways that lined up with our values,
- how learning the difference between emotions and feelings started me on a road to healing,
- and the differences are between emotions and feelings.
and other things as well.
To listen to it, click below.
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Soul Mama Blog
Blog to help mamas, on their journey: with the various parts of motherhood and life.