Keeping a clean home is not about judgement – it is about staying in your flow and power (Guest Blog)
Garnering and maintaining energy while keeping up with the many duties that women, specifically busy mothers have to tackle daily can be daunting when the purpose of the duties are for others consumption and perception. As I grew and became more aware of my power as a woman, mother and manager of my home I realized how certain ideas that had been ingrained in me about keeping my home clean both helped and hindered my own energy and the energy of my home. Let me paint the scene:
“Her house is dirty – how is she letting people come to her dirty house”
“She a nasty woman – look at her house”
“Keep your house clean or others will look at you like you are nasty”
We all heard some variation of these statements growing up and more specifically as adults. In fact, women often struggle after delivery of their child with the idea of their homes not being clean – not from a perspective that a clean home will enhance their energy but from the perspective that they will be looked at unfavorably as a woman for keeping a nasty home. We must shift the viewpoint with which we filter many of the lessons we learned as women about our value from judgement of our selves to the power of our roles.
Keeping your home clean is essential because a clean home – the primary place of manifestation – is critical to keeping the abundance, clarity and goal accomplishment of the family. New things (ideas, thoughts, money, etc) can not enter into a space that is already occupied. Try to think your way into a new place with old thoughts…it won’t be able to manifest because you will have all those old thoughts blocking it. Same in a closet, you can have many beautiful clothes and shoes but if you do not clean out the closet you won’t even be able to appreciate what is there. So our elder women who tried to teach us about cleanliness were right, a clean home is critical but less about what people will think about you and more about your synchronicity and awareness of the spiritual energies that are more available to you and can flow through you when you keep your home clean. You can take this principle to your purse, your body, and your mind. Your inclination for cleanliness is primordial because as a woman you are of the flow of the energies of the universe and you desire that flow uninhibited.
So consider how your space will be kept clean without the fear of judgement but instead with the expectation of positive energetic flow. You can achieve a clean space relatively stress free when you expand your options. Consider having a cleaner come in once a week, solicit help from your mate and child(ren), and/or keep a cleaning schedule. I keep a cleaning schedule so that I can stay in flow with my desires. I literally clean and consider my goals and desired manifestations and lifestyle, this is a ritual for your mind, space and spirit. So I clean the bathrooms on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday so the tubs are always clean and smells good. I keep the kitchen clean daily and clean the refrigerator/baseboards monthly. Thirty minutes a day to freshen up the home has kept my sanity and energy flow high. The invisible mitigating forces that assist us in accomplishing our goals see our diligence and care appreciate it and reward our commitment. Some call these forces deities, gods/goddesses, spirits, pantheons, etc. I call them my grace.
My hope is that this gave you a different paradigm to think about your role and power. I also hope women see that generational stories have power to evolve and sustain or destroy. Being mindful of the simplest stories, how they’ve affected you and how you process them is critical to your evolution and changing generational patterns. Our power is in our ritual.
*To learn more, or become a guest blogger for Soul Centered Mama, go HERE*
The Ancestral Readings, were born during a time when I realized that my work was expanding into helping others see and work with deeper energies that were present within their family lines so that they could make changes to create - consciously create - what they wanted to see with their children vs, automatically putting into them (the parent), what was given to them as children…but before I began doing this kind of work for others, I began putting this work into my children and my home first.
This work began silently - as pretty much anything in life, that is part of our calling or purpose - before I was aware of it. Before I actually knew what I was doing.
It began with me as a child and teenager, loving children and being able to see their deep connection to spirit.
It began with me understanding that there was more to life, than what I could see with my eyes.
It began with me being able to see patterns and understand the energies that were surrounding me…only back then, it didn’t mean this. At first I thought that all people could do this, and then when I learned that that wasn’t the case, I thought that I was weird, and hid my abilities from everyone and everywhere.
But, because life is funny sometimes, I learned what it meant to actually do the deeper work of what I could see, in my home with my children, when I realized that I was creating the the opposite of what I wanted and believed. I became aware of this when my then 4 yo daughter, was not aligning with what I envisioned in my heart, for us.
This began my deeper work and my connection to the in-life - intentional (because before that I did this work on autopilot) - changing of the energies around me.
I realized that the habits, themes, actions and behaviors that I was putting into her, were not the habits that I wanted her (and my other children) to grow with. During this time, I also realized that I had some serious programming that was running on autopilot. Programming that I needed to release and change so that I could stop what I was doing the things that were not working.
I realized that we were playing out a story that had been set into motion years before I was even on this earth.
We’d been playing what I like to call the, “this is what was done to me, so I’ll do it to you,” game.
The reality hit that I had a lot of deprograming and changes to make, in order actually make the changes.
This sent me into a period in my time, that I call observation - a period in which I literally put everything on hold and just observed our entire life.
Our habits. Our interactions. My reactions. My thoughts. My patterns. My beliefs. Subconscious stories that I’d written, and was playing out. How these patterns played out in my children. My parents. How I reflected them, and how my children reflected me.
Everything, became a point of self reflection.
In it’s depth, this period lasted about 5 years (although I still move in this way often - especially when something is coming up that requires healing).
Understanding the what, where and why, became my focus so that I could understand my input, in order to change my output.
I became obsessed with making changes that would shift our lives, heal me and in turn heal them deeply.
During this time, I learned what it mean to put what I could see and understand into action…because truth be told, I can see the energies of everything all day long, but if I’m not putting what I see into action, they what’s the use?
The truth is that we are all, an amalgamation of our ancestors, the people, events and things that came before us, and when we learn to understand this, shift and evolve through it, rather than become entrapped in it, we evolve.
This time taught me how to deepen and strengthen my self awareness.
To learn to observe others outside of myself.
I learned how to challenge my self and beliefs.
How to stop auto reactions, and how to input what I wanted to create instead.
My insights and intuition deepened.
How to see the hurt, how to heal it, and stop it with me.
How to feel the feelings that those before me had suffered and fallen into.
I learned how to see my reflection in their actions.
I learned how to see my children for who they are, not what I perceived.
How to shift my mindset to help cultivate them, rather than fall into traps of hurt.
I learned how to grow in silence.
I learned how to forgive myself for my lack of perfection.
I learned how to input conscious creation and intention instead
I learned how to understand the process within this time, and how to use it to create.
I learned how to become the change.
It’s often said, that we have to know where we were, to know where we’re going - this time taught me that this is absolutely true.
The truth is that I am still always learning.
The future (or past) is not set in stone, and it is possible to make changes, to be the change that we want to see…we just have to be willing to do the work, the internal work, to change and heal.
This process comes again always at different times (usually when I feel like I have it all figured out HA!).
And each time, I gain something different - but always with the purpose of healing myself - and them - at a deeper level.
The truth is that ancestral work and readings, as well as my Soul Readings for the higher self of moms, and children, is all interconnected. It’s all part of the whole - part of the web or creation, that is always leading us home.
I started off my ancestral search (and I’m still not done), so that I could heal my children from what I’d done to them when I was blind, and the process brought me back home to myself.
This is the true meaning of when we heal the self, we heal the rest: 7 generations front, 7 back, and sideways as well.
Self healing, is ancestral healing, which is also child healing. It’s all connected.
Are you looking for deeper help to heal, transform, or move forward with something? Click HERE to learn how I can help you.
Or if Soul Readings are your thing, where I intuitively connect to to the other realms for you go HERE.
Today I want to share with you the truth of it means to parent consciously...because the truth is something different than what many people think...the truth is that this road can hurt and it's time for the truth to be seen, for what it is.
The ugly bits. The ones that many of us woke folk won't talk about...you ready? It will be a bumpy ride...
I grow with and through my children always, but that does not mean that it's easy...
Let me paint you a picture, because I live for the beautiful moments with our children that you see plastered all over:
...picture three brothers playing peacefully with each other. Taking turns and being considerate of one another. Having conversations about something that they heard, saw or learned about. Speaking to the youngest one with so much consideration that any onlooker would be in awe at such a sight. The sounds of laughter and cooperation filling the air...
Yes, this is beautiful and melodic indeed, and often happen in my home...but do you know just how these moments come to be? How we get here, and how this is cultivated through the moments that don't look like this (moment's that happen as well).
Do you know how many days and nights of soul searching there has to be in order for this to come to pass?
How many times I have to go within the depths of myself and darkness to make this happen?
Learning to stay present, in the moments that I want to disconnect from instead. Being present to screams, crying, fighting over toys, implications, and overwhelming toddler screams to make this happen? Over and over again.
The times that I had to stop to question my own programming, conditioning, automatic reactions, hurt, beliefs patterns and stories, to get there...and the reality that this has to happen consistently.
Do you know how many times I had to train my being, to look for the reason why. To tune in and find out their why and purpose, while tuning into and then releasing my judgments? All the while questioning my behavior and learning how to stop my own reactions?
Learning to listen to the feelings of the little one - or really more appropriate in my case "ones" - in front of me, to make the beautiful scene above happen? So that I can input into them what I want them to take versus what I feel.
Learning to see beyond a momentary discomfort into the cause of the problem.
Learning to care less about the thoughts of strangers while I'm out and about with my kids, when my three year old is having a meltdown because he is tired or hungry, so that I can address what he needs instead.
You see, the truth is that being a conscious mama has less to do with the things that people think about when they think conscious or "woke", i.e., crystals, channeling, astrology, tarot, organic, vegan, spells, etc., and more to do with being fully here now, allowing yourself to break wide open, for a deeper understanding, healing and then doing it again. Each time with the promise that what you receive will be a version of you, that is more whole than the last, even though it hurts now.
Being a conscious parent, means willing to face all of those dark parts within, so that you can face the little human that is looking at you without. The same one who is subconsciously poking around at all of those ugly dark parts - and learning how to release the idea of it being their fault or any of the judgments that come with these pokes.
It means, learning to face the shadow, ego, lions, wildness and hurt child within, and dying a million deaths to be the best parent possible for the child that is in front of you right now - with each child requiring his or her own set of action.
Learning to quiet the part of me that wants to run away from the thought of being touched, and learning to soften that for the little one who needs demonstrations of love much more than me needing to be left alone.
As a result teaching me the importance of healing the part who was told that touch during times of high emotions is bad or to be rejected...
It means learning the difference between discipline that builds, from the little voice that is telling you that your voice rules.
It means commitment to following this process through, and then doing it over and over again...through exhaustion, and the feelings of wanting to stop.
So. When I talk about conscious parenting, yup I'm all cosmos, stars and rainbows, but the truth is that the work that is happening is deeper than earth bound, it's work that is connected to the most important thing of all. My being. To that raw open space that wants to run away, and yet can't.
My commitment to this life, and to brining in the next level of 'conscious, woke folk', is bigger than me, and greater than a few tools (although don't get me wrong, I LOVE those tools)...but the truth is that the tools, and life style things, are just the surface - because the practice and action have to be consistent. We have to work on doing those things over and over again. The depths of navigation that is required to bring in people who are aware and free from the past that can bind us, is bigger than these things...and I am committed to the lifestyle and also to helping others understand these things also.
The parents that I have read for, have become instantly transformed through the sessions, but the truth is that there is always something that has to be moved into, with action - something that has to be faced or moved through. An action that we must do, or something that has to be felt...yes, it's a magical process, but it is a process indeed.
Want to schedule a Soul Reading, or learn more about Soulful Guidance Packages?
Till we talk again,
Parenting when understood as an act of spirituality, can help us get in touch with our inner worlds, when we know what we are looking for. All of the readings that I conduct, are successful in helping parents with their children, not because there is a magical formula that comes about, but because the mamas are connected with the spirit and energy of their children and relationship, helping them realign with the parts that have become disconnected, the realization that most of the issues that we have with our children, happen not because we are inept parents, but because there is something that has become unaligned within, or that there is something that we are working towards, and the readings help bridge that.
Although I bridge the worlds and bring messages, so that mamas just like you can start to get clarity and understand the purpose of their relationship with their children, it is difficult to really understand how this happens and how it is that the unity to help propel them forward happens, unless you experience a reading for yourself. Today I want to help you understand this better.
One of the first things, that I do, whenever I have a baby, is that I go within and I tap into the essence of my child, and try to understand who they are and the energy that they carry so that I can get to know them intimately. This way, I understand the energy that they carry within themselves, and what they bring me and my life, once the baby is born. One of the next things that I do, is pull their astrology chart (something that I ONLY offer to coaching clients). I do this so that I can have a deeper understanding of who they are and their mission. I familiarize myself with this, so that I can understand how we are affecting each other, and what we are in each others lives to teach and learn. This is so important because as we all know, everyone that we come into contact with is teaching us something or helping us learn something - our children are no exception - they come with life-long lessons. For instance, one of the life-long lessons that my twins teach me is how to put in grounded work energy. I am by nature a very free spirited person - and they are in their pure essence very grounded and require stabilizing energies to feel balanced - I know that in order for them to feel stable, they need order and routine - this is a life lesson for me - because again, I am naturally free spirited. In understanding this, I can get rid of the feeling that there is something wrong with them, due to my propensity to be free spirited, and in turn I understand that they require stabilizing forces to keep them grounded, I provide them with the emotional support that they need, while they learn how to be more free spirited in their routined approach...we are balancing each other.
Understanding how the energies and the spirit within our family lives and our relationships is a HUGE part of learning how to balance our homes and our lives - and one of the biggest reasons that I am able to live in harmony with my children and with myself...it is also the reason that my readings help provide my clients with so much immediate clarity: they don't have to fumble around in the dark. You can get to the core of what you're doing for each other and start working from there...once you understand the purpose, you can start to put in the work to create the life that is going to help you both move forward in harmony...once I understood that my twins came to help me balance my work flow through practical everyday tasks, I no longer had to fight their need for routine and structure - I stopped the story that told me these boys are too rigid, and the story then became, these boys feel comfortable when they have a routine, they bring me to earth and help me stay grounded. In the long run, this energy has literally helped me build other parts of my life - for instance, they taught me how to put in the practical work, to be able to sustain a business - through the life lessons of having to be routined for them, I learned how to be practical in my work approach, and how to take the steps necessary to sustain something in the long run - rather than just slapping something together, and expecting it to come together magically - a free spirited trait - I learned how to keep going because of them, throughout the years.
Here's the thing, I know that the readings are pricy (there is a payment plan, you know), but what you get from them, is life altering information - right from the source (your child's higher self, your higher self). You learn about your energies, what you're each creating, working towards, and/or releasing. The information is priceless, because you are able to get to the heart of what you and your child need. You receive immediate clarity, and tap into something magical within. You view the grander picture. You get a whole life understanding of what you are each creating in your lives, and can move into a space of getting deep truths and moving into the magic that is naturally yours...here are just some of the results that some mamas have had after a reading...
I ask you, how can I be of service to you today? Where? In what area can I provide lazer clarity, and help you move into flow? I invite you to book your time today, and let me help you move into this space. Or if you've already had a reading, or are one of my tribe members and would like to gift one to a friend or family member, there is referral pricing available to you, and you can contact me HERE about this.
Book your time here, today.
Let's talk about how we can start to learn about stories, behaviors and habits, and learn to move forward now, shall we? For starters, let's talk about the principles of energy. Everything that is, is made up of energy: us, our children, our lives, our loved ones. As we move through life, the energy that is within us, is made up of the many different experiences that we've had, and are shaped by our perception or the way that we view life.
Our children, as we are, have certain energies that are present within them - believe it or not, all children are born, carrying the energy of the time before their birth (up to a year before their birth and your pregnancy). This energy that they carry within, manifests without as emotions, predispositions in behavior, preferences...this is why many times, we instinctively tell pregnant women, not to be in places that may cause them upset or may cause them or their baby harm. We know this emotionally, but when we think about the effect of what this means, after the baby is born, a lot of things can come into perspective. When we start to apply this, to who our children are now, it is possible to not only understand certain behaviors, and predispositions, but we can also learn how to start to move into different situations with an intuitive understanding of what we need to do to help our child in a way that is helpful for them.
This understanding, is more helpful to us, when our children are still very small. I'd say possibly under three years old. This is because as they start to get older, their personalities and reactions start to become colored by experiences that they have within their world - but, the younger that a child is, the more true they are to their nature - to the essence of who they are. If you have a younger child, who you'd like to try to understand in this way (or an older child, who you want to start to trace and understand some of their core personality or traits), one of the best ways to start, is to start to look at the time before your pregnancy, your pregnancy, and their birth - energetically. For instance, you can ask yourself, did I have a calm pregnancy? What was that time like? When I think about that time, was I excited? Was I timid to life and fearful? Was I ready to leap into life? How did I feel about myself and the people around me? What was my outlook? Then begin to look at your child and their predispositions. Does anything about who they are remind you of the times before or during your pregnancy? How can you use this understanding to help them now? Or to help you view and react with them in a way that is helpful and conducive to creating balance?
Another exercise, is to start to look at your birth. Our births are great examples, and predictors into future stuff with our children. I can literally go back into the birth of all of my kids, and think of a few adjectives that describe them. For example, my twin son's birth, was done via a c-sec., and they are both, very analytical, they are practical, and very logical...as to where my daughter's births were in a birthing center, where I labored naturally with little to no intervention from my midwives, and they are both very free spirited. They have a very organic view of themselves and life. My last baby's birth was very long, and it was a practice in patience. This little dude is just like this. It takes him a long while to open up to things that are new or take him a while to open up to, and I know that I have to have a lot of patience with him when it comes to anything that is new. Understanding them in this way, helps me guide them in ways that are helpful to their personalities. I don't expect them to be any one that they are not. These are all energetic things that I notice about my children, in relation to my birth, but there is also so much more, that will just be too long to get into now...but you get the point.
The purpose for me telling you this, is because #1 when we start to understand the core of who our children are and their energetic make up, we can stop fighting who they are and align ourselves with their needs...especially when they are younger and we are still figuring things out - and #2 because I sincerely believe that it's time for us to start to understand how the energies that are present within our home, are playing out in our lives...as they say, energy speaks louder than works, and in a world that is made up of energy, the one who understands it, is king (in your case queen - my goal is to help you start to understand how these energies are playing out in your home, so that you can realign and find harmony)...
...now, of course this is not the be all end all of why certain behaviors or things that we don't fully understand occur - this is just the beginning...it's the tip of the iceberg, and only a basic understanding to the energies that make a part of our children and our selves, and how they shape and affect our homes. Beyond this, there are other factors that come into learning how to understand our children so that we can align with the natural flow of who they are and guide them in a way in which we struggle less, but it is my purpose to start to begin these conversations, so that mothers can learn how to begin to understand their children in a more holistic way.
To learn more about how to understand these principles, and how to apply them into your live, you can schedule a call with me HERE, or book a reading with me HERE.
Soul Mama Blog
Blog to help mamas, on their journey: with the various parts of motherhood and life.