The Ancestral Readings, were born during a time when I realized that my work was expanding into helping others see and work with deeper energies that were present within their family lines so that they could make changes to create - consciously create - what they wanted to see with their children vs, automatically putting into them (the parent), what was given to them as children…but before I began doing this kind of work for others, I began putting this work into my children and my home first.
This work began silently - as pretty much anything in life, that is part of our calling or purpose - before I was aware of it. Before I actually knew what I was doing.
It began with me as a child and teenager, loving children and being able to see their deep connection to spirit.
It began with me understanding that there was more to life, than what I could see with my eyes.
It began with me being able to see patterns and understand the energies that were surrounding me…only back then, it didn’t mean this. At first I thought that all people could do this, and then when I learned that that wasn’t the case, I thought that I was weird, and hid my abilities from everyone and everywhere.
But, because life is funny sometimes, I learned what it meant to actually do the deeper work of what I could see, in my home with my children, when I realized that I was creating the the opposite of what I wanted and believed. I became aware of this when my then 4 yo daughter, was not aligning with what I envisioned in my heart, for us.
This began my deeper work and my connection to the in-life - intentional (because before that I did this work on autopilot) - changing of the energies around me.
I realized that the habits, themes, actions and behaviors that I was putting into her, were not the habits that I wanted her (and my other children) to grow with. During this time, I also realized that I had some serious programming that was running on autopilot. Programming that I needed to release and change so that I could stop what I was doing the things that were not working.
I realized that we were playing out a story that had been set into motion years before I was even on this earth.
We’d been playing what I like to call the, “this is what was done to me, so I’ll do it to you,” game.
The reality hit that I had a lot of deprograming and changes to make, in order actually make the changes.
This sent me into a period in my time, that I call observation - a period in which I literally put everything on hold and just observed our entire life.
Our habits. Our interactions. My reactions. My thoughts. My patterns. My beliefs. Subconscious stories that I’d written, and was playing out. How these patterns played out in my children. My parents. How I reflected them, and how my children reflected me.
Everything, became a point of self reflection.
In it’s depth, this period lasted about 5 years (although I still move in this way often - especially when something is coming up that requires healing).
Understanding the what, where and why, became my focus so that I could understand my input, in order to change my output.
I became obsessed with making changes that would shift our lives, heal me and in turn heal them deeply.
During this time, I learned what it mean to put what I could see and understand into action…because truth be told, I can see the energies of everything all day long, but if I’m not putting what I see into action, they what’s the use?
The truth is that we are all, an amalgamation of our ancestors, the people, events and things that came before us, and when we learn to understand this, shift and evolve through it, rather than become entrapped in it, we evolve.
This time taught me how to deepen and strengthen my self awareness.
To learn to observe others outside of myself.
I learned how to challenge my self and beliefs.
How to stop auto reactions, and how to input what I wanted to create instead.
My insights and intuition deepened.
How to see the hurt, how to heal it, and stop it with me.
How to feel the feelings that those before me had suffered and fallen into.
I learned how to see my reflection in their actions.
I learned how to see my children for who they are, not what I perceived.
How to shift my mindset to help cultivate them, rather than fall into traps of hurt.
I learned how to grow in silence.
I learned how to forgive myself for my lack of perfection.
I learned how to input conscious creation and intention instead
I learned how to understand the process within this time, and how to use it to create.
I learned how to become the change.
It’s often said, that we have to know where we were, to know where we’re going - this time taught me that this is absolutely true.
The truth is that I am still always learning.
The future (or past) is not set in stone, and it is possible to make changes, to be the change that we want to see…we just have to be willing to do the work, the internal work, to change and heal.
This process comes again always at different times (usually when I feel like I have it all figured out HA!).
And each time, I gain something different - but always with the purpose of healing myself - and them - at a deeper level.
The truth is that ancestral work and readings, as well as my Soul Readings for the higher self of moms, and children, is all interconnected. It’s all part of the whole - part of the web or creation, that is always leading us home.
I started off my ancestral search (and I’m still not done), so that I could heal my children from what I’d done to them when I was blind, and the process brought me back home to myself.
This is the true meaning of when we heal the self, we heal the rest: 7 generations front, 7 back, and sideways as well.
Self healing, is ancestral healing, which is also child healing. It’s all connected.
Are you looking for deeper help to heal, transform, or move forward with something? Click HERE to learn how I can help you.
Or if Soul Readings are your thing, where I intuitively connect to to the other realms for you go HERE.
Today I want to share with you the truth of it means to parent consciously...because the truth is something different than what many people think...the truth is that this road can hurt and it's time for the truth to be seen, for what it is.
The ugly bits. The ones that many of us woke folk won't talk about...you ready? It will be a bumpy ride...
I grow with and through my children always, but that does not mean that it's easy...
Let me paint you a picture, because I live for the beautiful moments with our children that you see plastered all over:
...picture three brothers playing peacefully with each other. Taking turns and being considerate of one another. Having conversations about something that they heard, saw or learned about. Speaking to the youngest one with so much consideration that any onlooker would be in awe at such a sight. The sounds of laughter and cooperation filling the air...
Yes, this is beautiful and melodic indeed, and often happen in my home...but do you know just how these moments come to be? How we get here, and how this is cultivated through the moments that don't look like this (moment's that happen as well).
Do you know how many days and nights of soul searching there has to be in order for this to come to pass?
How many times I have to go within the depths of myself and darkness to make this happen?
Learning to stay present, in the moments that I want to disconnect from instead. Being present to screams, crying, fighting over toys, implications, and overwhelming toddler screams to make this happen? Over and over again.
The times that I had to stop to question my own programming, conditioning, automatic reactions, hurt, beliefs patterns and stories, to get there...and the reality that this has to happen consistently.
Do you know how many times I had to train my being, to look for the reason why. To tune in and find out their why and purpose, while tuning into and then releasing my judgments? All the while questioning my behavior and learning how to stop my own reactions?
Learning to listen to the feelings of the little one - or really more appropriate in my case "ones" - in front of me, to make the beautiful scene above happen? So that I can input into them what I want them to take versus what I feel.
Learning to see beyond a momentary discomfort into the cause of the problem.
Learning to care less about the thoughts of strangers while I'm out and about with my kids, when my three year old is having a meltdown because he is tired or hungry, so that I can address what he needs instead.
You see, the truth is that being a conscious mama has less to do with the things that people think about when they think conscious or "woke", i.e., crystals, channeling, astrology, tarot, organic, vegan, spells, etc., and more to do with being fully here now, allowing yourself to break wide open, for a deeper understanding, healing and then doing it again. Each time with the promise that what you receive will be a version of you, that is more whole than the last, even though it hurts now.
Being a conscious parent, means willing to face all of those dark parts within, so that you can face the little human that is looking at you without. The same one who is subconsciously poking around at all of those ugly dark parts - and learning how to release the idea of it being their fault or any of the judgments that come with these pokes.
It means, learning to face the shadow, ego, lions, wildness and hurt child within, and dying a million deaths to be the best parent possible for the child that is in front of you right now - with each child requiring his or her own set of action.
Learning to quiet the part of me that wants to run away from the thought of being touched, and learning to soften that for the little one who needs demonstrations of love much more than me needing to be left alone.
As a result teaching me the importance of healing the part who was told that touch during times of high emotions is bad or to be rejected...
It means learning the difference between discipline that builds, from the little voice that is telling you that your voice rules.
It means commitment to following this process through, and then doing it over and over again...through exhaustion, and the feelings of wanting to stop.
So. When I talk about conscious parenting, yup I'm all cosmos, stars and rainbows, but the truth is that the work that is happening is deeper than earth bound, it's work that is connected to the most important thing of all. My being. To that raw open space that wants to run away, and yet can't.
My commitment to this life, and to brining in the next level of 'conscious, woke folk', is bigger than me, and greater than a few tools (although don't get me wrong, I LOVE those tools)...but the truth is that the tools, and life style things, are just the surface - because the practice and action have to be consistent. We have to work on doing those things over and over again. The depths of navigation that is required to bring in people who are aware and free from the past that can bind us, is bigger than these things...and I am committed to the lifestyle and also to helping others understand these things also.
The parents that I have read for, have become instantly transformed through the sessions, but the truth is that there is always something that has to be moved into, with action - something that has to be faced or moved through. An action that we must do, or something that has to be felt...yes, it's a magical process, but it is a process indeed.
Want to schedule a Soul Reading, or learn more about Soulful Guidance Packages?
Till we talk again,
Healing your body, mind and soul after a negative birth experience can be very challenging. Your experiences maybe have you feeling empty, alone, heartbroken or even depressed or traumatised? Maybe you feel like a complete failure, or completely disconnected from your little one? Let me tell you honey, whatever it is you are feeling, it is ok! It is ok, not to be ok! But it is also ok to want to move forward and let go of what no longer serves you.
I have been working with women all around the world, supporting them to heal their (birth)trauma. There are many things we can do to help you move forward to start your healing journey, but most importantly I want you to know is that you are not alone! You are not the only one who is feeling like this and you will get through this. But what can you do? When you feel in such a dark place? Let’s talk about my 3 favourite tips to help you get started;
Tip 1 – listen to your body
What you feel does matter, how you feel also matters, in fact you matter! Start tuning into your body and listen to what it is telling you. Do it right now, just for a minute or 2. I will wait... Close your eyes and feel.
Do you feel angry? Why are you angry? What is behind the anger? Or is it sadness? Or fear? Keep peeling away the layers and keep going until you get to your core. What is it what you need? Do you need to rest? Mourn? Go outside for a walk? Take up some new hobbies? Whatever it is, you need to start giving this to yourself.
Your body can hold onto a traumatic experience, even years after. You can feel this anywhere in your body, but what I see most often is sadness in the chest area, and guilt in the stomach. Our bodies do this, in case something similar happens again, so it can respond quickly right away to keep us safe.
If those feelings aren’t dealt with, it can lead to long-term health problems. That is why it is crucial to make time for yourself each day, to recognise these signs and paying the attention they deserve.
Tip 2 – Do what you love
The next step for you is to start doing what you enjoy again. What did you use to enjoy? Do you still enjoy it? If not, what would you like to start doing? It doesn’t have to cost a lot; it can be as simple as getting out some pen and paper out and making a beautiful drawing. Or maybe make yourself a lovely cup of tea of those tea leaves in the back of your cupboard you have been saving for ‘later’. Your time is now lady, and you need to put yourself first.
I love to use the example of a beautiful rose bush in this case. If the bush doesn’t row right, do we blame the bush? Do we tell the rose how worthless she is? Or do we help her, nurture her, replace her soil, give her water, food and the attention she needs to grow and blossom her beautiful flowers? You need to treat yourself like the beautiful roses! You can’t poor from an empty cup, so start filling it with what you need.
Tip 3 – I am Love
Stop telling yourself that you can’t. I can’t do it, I can’t afford it, I can’t [....] fill in the blank. For the next 4 weeks, I want you to start telling yourself that you can. I can be happy, I can put myself first, I can make that available in my budget. And maybe after those 4 weeks, you want to start saying yourself that “I am happy, I am beautiful, I love you [your name]” when looking into the mirror. Start loving yourself, the good, the bad and everything in between.
You are a beautiful woman and you deserve to be happy.
Susanne Grant is an International Birth & Healing coach and specialises in (Birth) Trauma, PTSD & Body Issues. She supports women all around the world during pregnancy and after birth, providing them with the tools to heal (sexual) abuse & trauma as well as traumatic births. We felt Susanne would be the perfect addition to our website and we asked her to write this beautiful guest blog for you, in which she will share her 3 tips on how to heal birth trauma.
*This image does not belong to Soul Centered Mama. We do not claim any rights to it.
The most powerful thing that a woman can have, in her child rearing years, is a tribe. There. I said it…I remember when my children were all small, the years of four under four…as I like to call it…were some of the hardest years of my life, because these were the years that I was in the thick of it.
All of my children were young. They all needed me all of the time, and I felt that I had very little to give.
I was tired most of that time. I was sleep deprived. I had very little to no help, and everything depended on me. And for a long time, I felt like I was coming apart.
This was the time that I needed the most help, and support and yet, I had none. I was alone most of the time, when I needed sisterhood and community the most…
…because these years, these formative years when our children are younger, the time when their emotional state is created, the foundation for their lives, is when mothers should receive nurturing and caring support, so that they can be as balanced as possible.
But instead the reverse is true. This is the time when a lot of us, are lacking a solid support.
The damage that has been done to motherhood, on many levels, has ensured that we are alone when we need help the most.
A lot of our communities are damaged. The matriarchs of old, are broken, and the tribes that held us up, when it is most needed is no longer available.
Instead what we have is brokenness.
We have competition, we have hurt, we have others protecting their truth onto us.
We have mothers and women who are stuck in loops of pain from the past, who can no longer sustain the village that is needed…and the damage shows.
The pain that is in us, from the loss of tribe and connection, reverberates though us and our children.
It is a loud echo that is felt deeply in the hearts of our collective womanhood.
But today, I proclaim that this is no longer an option.
Today, I state publicly that we need to do better.
Today, I am giving mothers what I needed in those days of four under four.
I am giving you a tribe.
A tribe that listens to you while you heal.
A tribe that helps you when you are down.
A tribe that listens to you, and says "I see you sister.”
A nurturing community.
A sacred space…online. Because many of us, don’t have the option of leaving our children with someone…and mostly because this is the way that is easiest for many to gather - for now...
A space where you can come and learn about the delicacies that is childhood, childhood behavior and how to grow with your child, about yourself and how to release what doesn’t serve you, all while receiving the support of sisterhood.
Support that builds. Support that grows. Support that sees you where you are, and lifts you while you learn about how to be the best mama for your child, understand yourself and them…all while holding you, in a sacred space, while you grow.
Today, I announce that the SCM Sacred Motherhood Tribe, is officially open for enrollment.
It’s time that we come together as a whole and nurture each other where we are. Where we learn to give and receive love, in the ways that we want to give it to our children, while we learn how to be the best mother possible for our children…in the way that we deserve. Sisterhood that builds.
Time to grow from sacred sisterhood that heals…and it all begins Thursday, March 16th.
Do you want to learn more Go here.
P.S. The video for our Empowered Mama Workshop Series, SHADOW is available now! Click here to see.
Mother/Daughter: The Most Intense, Powerful Relationship you will Ever Have in Your Life (Guest Blog)
Standing in my mother’s kitchen hearing the words ‘I don’t love you and I will never change’, went through me like a knife but these were the words that I needed to hear to change my life. Why would a woman in her forties need to be accepted, praised and loved by her mother; why would she care about this when she was happily married with three healthy children of her own?
Because even after all these years the feelings to be accepted and loved were as strong was ever; words may fade away but emotions and feelings remain as intense as ever.
You can understand the 4-year-old putting her finger under the sewing needle to stop her mother sewing as she demanded attention. It makes sense that the 6-year-old would pull up the plants in the garden as the child pleaded her mother to acknowledge her and leave tending the vegetables. You would expect the 11-year-old to sob her heart out when she was left at boarding school in another country and the 16-year-old to cause argument after argument for any sort of attention.
But the fortysomething woman craving that same attention now she has her own life just doesn’t make sense.
Or does it?
This is my story but one that will resonate with millions of women around the world, a well-kept secret full of shame, resentment and hurt. If your own mother can’t love you, the very woman who bore you can’t praise, accept or value you, how could you possibly be worthy? So you spend a life craving these feelings from everyone else, becoming a needy person, and feeling worthless, useless, of little value and broken.
This relationship is so powerful that it affects the interaction with your partner, your children, your friends and yourself. This incredible bond, which was once based on love, can turn to anger, resentment, and guilt ruining your whole life.
Are you desperately trying to
· seek your mother’s approval,
· strive for her acceptance,
· win her praise,
· gain her acknowledgment
· yearn for that maternal warmth
· crave her love only to be disappointed in every effort you make
· and it just never comes?
With all of this trying and needing are you left:
· with such low self-esteem
· feeling worthless
· with utter guilt
· which ends up affecting every area of your life?
Until, you decide that you don’t need anything from anyone, least of all your mother – you really don’t need praise, affection, attention or love from anyone for you have all of this inside of you. The day that happens is the day you begin your journey of freedom. The journey is hard, it is slow, it is painful but it is truly the most astounding thing you will ever do in your life and it will give you such freedom and strength you could never have dreamt of.
Having totally transformed my life, Mum and I now have a loving relationship, we’ve been on holiday together, she visits for two weeks at a time but the greatest gifts are the paradigm is no longer alive in our family and I have given Mum the gift of healing herself.
Here are a few tips to start your healing journey TODAY.
1. STOP TRYING to - make things work, make things better, please your mother, say the ‘right’ things, ‘do’ the ‘right’ things, as it doesn't, work. You may have been trying this for years and feel even more disappointed.
2. Have NO EXPECTATION from your mother – when you phone her do not expect her to respond in a certain way, do not expect her to be happy for you, hug you, cheer you on or be interested in anything you have to say. When you stop the expectation you also protect yourself from being disappointed.
3. Understand that you DO NOT NEED anything from your mother – YOU ARE ENOUGH. You really do not need her affection, her praise, her validation, her approval or her love because you are enough.
4. The HEALING is all about YOU. For perhaps the first time in your life put yourself first, which means taking time for you, meeting your needs, meeting your own expectations, making you feel good. You’ve probably even forgotten how to do this after all of these years.
5. The healing process is one of acceptance of whom you are, letting go of the lack of need for your mother’s love in any form, re-writing the perspective of your past and finally the FORGIVENESS for both you and your mother.
We all deserve a life of peace and fulfilment – we all have a choice in life, will you be the one to make that change? What are you waiting for? Miracles aren’t out there – you create them!
- Louise Armstrong
Family Relationship Coach
Having suffered a lifelong destructive relationship with her own mother which also impacted on the relationship with her eldest daughter, Louise has managed to heal both of these entirely alone. Louise was invited to train as a Coach, NLP Practitioner, Theta Healer and now a Hypnotherapist through the turnaround in her own personal life; leaving behind trading the financial futures markets. Louise also specialises in mother-daughter relationship healing, as this relationship is the most intense, powerful relationship you will ever have, affecting every relationship you form in your life.
Louise has been very happily married to Ian for almost 28 years, has lived in Dubai for over 14 years and has 3 grown up children, Charlotte 26 years, James 25 years and Sophie 23 years, all now working and independent!
Her mission is to help as many people as is possible to enjoy loving relationships as she feels these are fundamental to living a happy life.
To visit her Website: www.louise-armstrong.com to message her directly: firstname.lastname@example.org
I have been going through a HUGE growth spurt over the last few months. I have been learning to love, understand, and remove from myself, the deep parts within me, that tell me that I am not worthy. That I am not important enough for something. Or the parts that lie to me, left over from childhood, that tell me that I am not right if I don't do things perfectly. I have been learning to heal myself, so that I can keep healing my kids forward.
I've loved parts of myself, that were down and hurting. The parts that I thought were unlovable. The parts that my children mirrored and magnified. Loved them deeply. Forgave them, and released them, so that I could fall in love with them them deeply within my children too.
In this process of growing Soul Centered Mama™, and helping mothers heal themselves, so that they can heal their children from within - naturally - has brought up for me, many different layers of stuff that I thought that I'd cleared. Just recently I found myself, in the throws of an epic rough moment with my three year old (what's normally considered a tantrum), where I felt something from deep within stir up into what reminded me of rage - a rage that I haven't felt for a long time, and I knew that it was my cue to go within to heal.
The truth of all of us, who work to help others align or find balance, is that we know the darkness of the other. I know this too...this is why I am called to help mothers - because I know this space well - and I feel pulled by something deeper than me to help them heal. I don't want to pretend and offer perfection, because this is not real...instead, I offer the truth of what I've gone through, and how I have changed it into something else...to give them the parts of me, that I've restored, through the depths of despair.
I've lived the despair. I know the pain. I've lived in the silent throws of self judgment and sadness. I've known the space that says you're not doing it right...to only climb out of it and say NO. There is another way. To only climb through another level...and this is OK.
In this space, where we only see on these highlight reels, too much of the glossed over pretty parts, and not enough of the real parts...today I want to sit with you, because I know where you've been. I want to sit with you. To be your mirror while you heal.
My calling is not to heal others, but to heal myself deeply, so that I can provide the space while they learn to heal themselves - because we can only really heal ourselves. To love those broken pieces within them, so that they can see that they too are worthy of love - and everything more - as they are reborn into their lives, and as I keep healing myself. It is my job, to hold a space for my mamas to love themselves deeply, with gratitude and forgiveness, to those broken childhood pieces so that they can go forward and do it for their little ones as well.
Today, I want to offer you a glimpse into this brand of healing. part of my understanding and growing from within, was learning that I am an empath and learning to understand my feelings, the feelings of others around me, and how to differentiate from them. Then going within to heal the deep hurt ones within me. Over the last few months, many mamas have come forward to me, and told me that they suspect that they are also empaths. They feel overwhelmed, overstimulated, and find it hard to control their emotions...In our NEW, and temporarily FREE membership site of Soul Centered Mama™, I speak about how to understand it, what it is, and how to block emotions that are not yours, so that you can start to understand what's going on.
If you want to book a clarity call with me you can do so HERE or, if you want to book a Soul Reading℠ with me, where I connect to the higher self of your child, yourself, or a baby in spirit, you can do so HERE.
Soul Mama Blog
Blog to help mamas, on their journey: with the various parts of motherhood and life.