The Ancestral Readings, were born during a time when I realized that my work was expanding into helping others see and work with deeper energies that were present within their family lines so that they could make changes to create - consciously create - what they wanted to see with their children vs, automatically putting into them (the parent), what was given to them as children…but before I began doing this kind of work for others, I began putting this work into my children and my home first.
This work began silently - as pretty much anything in life, that is part of our calling or purpose - before I was aware of it. Before I actually knew what I was doing.
It began with me as a child and teenager, loving children and being able to see their deep connection to spirit.
It began with me understanding that there was more to life, than what I could see with my eyes.
It began with me being able to see patterns and understand the energies that were surrounding me…only back then, it didn’t mean this. At first I thought that all people could do this, and then when I learned that that wasn’t the case, I thought that I was weird, and hid my abilities from everyone and everywhere.
But, because life is funny sometimes, I learned what it meant to actually do the deeper work of what I could see, in my home with my children, when I realized that I was creating the the opposite of what I wanted and believed. I became aware of this when my then 4 yo daughter, was not aligning with what I envisioned in my heart, for us.
This began my deeper work and my connection to the in-life - intentional (because before that I did this work on autopilot) - changing of the energies around me.
I realized that the habits, themes, actions and behaviors that I was putting into her, were not the habits that I wanted her (and my other children) to grow with. During this time, I also realized that I had some serious programming that was running on autopilot. Programming that I needed to release and change so that I could stop what I was doing the things that were not working.
I realized that we were playing out a story that had been set into motion years before I was even on this earth.
We’d been playing what I like to call the, “this is what was done to me, so I’ll do it to you,” game.
The reality hit that I had a lot of deprograming and changes to make, in order actually make the changes.
This sent me into a period in my time, that I call observation - a period in which I literally put everything on hold and just observed our entire life.
Our habits. Our interactions. My reactions. My thoughts. My patterns. My beliefs. Subconscious stories that I’d written, and was playing out. How these patterns played out in my children. My parents. How I reflected them, and how my children reflected me.
Everything, became a point of self reflection.
In it’s depth, this period lasted about 5 years (although I still move in this way often - especially when something is coming up that requires healing).
Understanding the what, where and why, became my focus so that I could understand my input, in order to change my output.
I became obsessed with making changes that would shift our lives, heal me and in turn heal them deeply.
During this time, I learned what it mean to put what I could see and understand into action…because truth be told, I can see the energies of everything all day long, but if I’m not putting what I see into action, they what’s the use?
The truth is that we are all, an amalgamation of our ancestors, the people, events and things that came before us, and when we learn to understand this, shift and evolve through it, rather than become entrapped in it, we evolve.
This time taught me how to deepen and strengthen my self awareness.
To learn to observe others outside of myself.
I learned how to challenge my self and beliefs.
How to stop auto reactions, and how to input what I wanted to create instead.
My insights and intuition deepened.
How to see the hurt, how to heal it, and stop it with me.
How to feel the feelings that those before me had suffered and fallen into.
I learned how to see my reflection in their actions.
I learned how to see my children for who they are, not what I perceived.
How to shift my mindset to help cultivate them, rather than fall into traps of hurt.
I learned how to grow in silence.
I learned how to forgive myself for my lack of perfection.
I learned how to input conscious creation and intention instead
I learned how to understand the process within this time, and how to use it to create.
I learned how to become the change.
It’s often said, that we have to know where we were, to know where we’re going - this time taught me that this is absolutely true.
The truth is that I am still always learning.
The future (or past) is not set in stone, and it is possible to make changes, to be the change that we want to see…we just have to be willing to do the work, the internal work, to change and heal.
This process comes again always at different times (usually when I feel like I have it all figured out HA!).
And each time, I gain something different - but always with the purpose of healing myself - and them - at a deeper level.
The truth is that ancestral work and readings, as well as my Soul Readings for the higher self of moms, and children, is all interconnected. It’s all part of the whole - part of the web or creation, that is always leading us home.
I started off my ancestral search (and I’m still not done), so that I could heal my children from what I’d done to them when I was blind, and the process brought me back home to myself.
This is the true meaning of when we heal the self, we heal the rest: 7 generations front, 7 back, and sideways as well.
Self healing, is ancestral healing, which is also child healing. It’s all connected.
Are you looking for deeper help to heal, transform, or move forward with something? Click HERE to learn how I can help you.
Or if Soul Readings are your thing, where I intuitively connect to to the other realms for you go HERE.
We had a newborn and a three-year-old. My husband (MJ) was in a haze of pain from regular migraines, I in one of fatigue. We were both cranky.
I sat in front of my computer 10–16 hours every day, trying to work but spending hours as a social-media zombie. Probably once a day, I heard MJ yelling at the kids, and the kids crying. I would help calm the situation, then go back to slogging through my work, mentally walking through cold molasses.
Finally, sometime after midnight, I would climb into bed with a happy sigh and a huge grin at the thought of an hour or two of sleep before the baby woke to nurse or our daughter woke screaming.
She would shriek like someone was murdering her.
Exhausted, panicked, I frantically tried to quiet her so she wouldn’t wake everyone else. When she was finally calm and I tried to go back to sleep, she scream like a banshee again. Back to her room I went, quietly imploring her to go back to sleep.
Twenty minutes later, more screaming. I would again rush to her room, my voice rising as I begged, pleaded, “I have to sleep. I need sleep. Please, please… please, for the love of … why won’t you sleep?!”
Then I would hear myself yelling, “You are going to wake everyone else up. It is nighttime. It is time for sleep. People are trying to sleep!”
I felt ashamed at my loss of control. Something needed to change, but what? And how?
Our Life Savers
Then I discovered Hal Elrod’s book The Miracle Morning. I liked the idea of getting a better handle on my life by using the Life SAVERS (silence, affirmations, visualization, exercise, reading, scribing)—but how in the world could I get up an hour before my kids to do this?! It was all I could do to stumble out of bed when they woke me in the mornings.
I was desperate, though, so I gave it a shot. It worked … sort of.
I started daily self-care again, brushing my teeth, flossing, exercising … even showering! (When did I stop doing these things? I wondered.)
But I felt good enough—almost human again—that I kept going.
Even from his haze of pain and sleepiness, MJ noticed the change in me, so he started doing the Life SAVERS too.
Our days were so much better when we did the SAVERS before the kids woke up, but we still had to claw ourselves out of bed each morning, sometimes before the kids. But I often fell asleep in my silence. And affirmations. And visualization. And reading.
We were seeing enough improvements to stay determined, though, so we muddled through.
Then MJ discovered Shawn Stevenson’s book Sleep Smarter. We were already doing most things Stevenson suggested, but implementing those last few things made a tremendous difference. Suddenly, with sleep in order, everything started falling into place.
A Whole New Family
MJ’s migraines dropped from affecting him every day to only once or twice a month. He went from being anxious about almost everything to calm, even cheerful. Our interpersonal interactions are more considerate, more thoughtful. We treat everyone—including ourselves—with more respect.
We worry less and are present, engaged with our lives, our children, and each other. We accomplish much more every day. We keep our tempers. We rarely yell. Our house is much more peaceful.
Through trial and error, we have 5 essentials that we must to do daily to live this new, better life:
1. Shut off electronics at least 1 1/2 hour before the household’s earliest bedtime--and keep them out of sleeping spaces.
2. Use topical magnesium spray. (Ingested magnesium isn’t nearly as efficacious.) The easiest way to do this is with an epsom-salt soak. MJ, our daughter, and I soak our feet each evening as part of our electronics-free time. (MJ needs more magnesium to keep his headaches down, so he also uses a magnesium spray, which can be purchased or made at home.)
3. Increased physical activity. (Do any activity that you enjoy, but when movement is aligned with breathing, as in yoga or Tai Chi, it can double as silence/meditation.)
4. Silence/meditation. (This brings your attention to the present moment, to observe from a place of detachment. After steady practice, you find a state of calm that you can more easily call to mind when disturbances and agitation arise during the day.)
5. Education/personal development. (Focus on anything you like … anything. The point is to make constant incremental improvement in some aspect of your life. Eventually, you start thinking in whole new ways and getting more creative in everyday problem solving.)
When we do numbers 1 and 2, we fall asleep faster and have better-quality sleep. Then it’s easier to get up when the alarm goes off, which makes numbers 3–5 even easier to do.
Thanks to implementing these strategies, something has shifted in us.
We are hopeful and have found new purpose. We examine everything in our lives, improving what works and eliminating what doesn’t. We are more fully present for everyone. We are kinder, gentler, more understanding. We are better models for our children, who also behave better, sleep better, and are more cheerful.
It all started with the Miracle Morning and sleeping smarter.
- Stephanie R.S. Stringham
Mother/Daughter: The Most Intense, Powerful Relationship you will Ever Have in Your Life (Guest Blog)
Standing in my mother’s kitchen hearing the words ‘I don’t love you and I will never change’, went through me like a knife but these were the words that I needed to hear to change my life. Why would a woman in her forties need to be accepted, praised and loved by her mother; why would she care about this when she was happily married with three healthy children of her own?
Because even after all these years the feelings to be accepted and loved were as strong was ever; words may fade away but emotions and feelings remain as intense as ever.
You can understand the 4-year-old putting her finger under the sewing needle to stop her mother sewing as she demanded attention. It makes sense that the 6-year-old would pull up the plants in the garden as the child pleaded her mother to acknowledge her and leave tending the vegetables. You would expect the 11-year-old to sob her heart out when she was left at boarding school in another country and the 16-year-old to cause argument after argument for any sort of attention.
But the fortysomething woman craving that same attention now she has her own life just doesn’t make sense.
Or does it?
This is my story but one that will resonate with millions of women around the world, a well-kept secret full of shame, resentment and hurt. If your own mother can’t love you, the very woman who bore you can’t praise, accept or value you, how could you possibly be worthy? So you spend a life craving these feelings from everyone else, becoming a needy person, and feeling worthless, useless, of little value and broken.
This relationship is so powerful that it affects the interaction with your partner, your children, your friends and yourself. This incredible bond, which was once based on love, can turn to anger, resentment, and guilt ruining your whole life.
Are you desperately trying to
· seek your mother’s approval,
· strive for her acceptance,
· win her praise,
· gain her acknowledgment
· yearn for that maternal warmth
· crave her love only to be disappointed in every effort you make
· and it just never comes?
With all of this trying and needing are you left:
· with such low self-esteem
· feeling worthless
· with utter guilt
· which ends up affecting every area of your life?
Until, you decide that you don’t need anything from anyone, least of all your mother – you really don’t need praise, affection, attention or love from anyone for you have all of this inside of you. The day that happens is the day you begin your journey of freedom. The journey is hard, it is slow, it is painful but it is truly the most astounding thing you will ever do in your life and it will give you such freedom and strength you could never have dreamt of.
Having totally transformed my life, Mum and I now have a loving relationship, we’ve been on holiday together, she visits for two weeks at a time but the greatest gifts are the paradigm is no longer alive in our family and I have given Mum the gift of healing herself.
Here are a few tips to start your healing journey TODAY.
1. STOP TRYING to - make things work, make things better, please your mother, say the ‘right’ things, ‘do’ the ‘right’ things, as it doesn't, work. You may have been trying this for years and feel even more disappointed.
2. Have NO EXPECTATION from your mother – when you phone her do not expect her to respond in a certain way, do not expect her to be happy for you, hug you, cheer you on or be interested in anything you have to say. When you stop the expectation you also protect yourself from being disappointed.
3. Understand that you DO NOT NEED anything from your mother – YOU ARE ENOUGH. You really do not need her affection, her praise, her validation, her approval or her love because you are enough.
4. The HEALING is all about YOU. For perhaps the first time in your life put yourself first, which means taking time for you, meeting your needs, meeting your own expectations, making you feel good. You’ve probably even forgotten how to do this after all of these years.
5. The healing process is one of acceptance of whom you are, letting go of the lack of need for your mother’s love in any form, re-writing the perspective of your past and finally the FORGIVENESS for both you and your mother.
We all deserve a life of peace and fulfilment – we all have a choice in life, will you be the one to make that change? What are you waiting for? Miracles aren’t out there – you create them!
- Louise Armstrong
Family Relationship Coach
Having suffered a lifelong destructive relationship with her own mother which also impacted on the relationship with her eldest daughter, Louise has managed to heal both of these entirely alone. Louise was invited to train as a Coach, NLP Practitioner, Theta Healer and now a Hypnotherapist through the turnaround in her own personal life; leaving behind trading the financial futures markets. Louise also specialises in mother-daughter relationship healing, as this relationship is the most intense, powerful relationship you will ever have, affecting every relationship you form in your life.
Louise has been very happily married to Ian for almost 28 years, has lived in Dubai for over 14 years and has 3 grown up children, Charlotte 26 years, James 25 years and Sophie 23 years, all now working and independent!
Her mission is to help as many people as is possible to enjoy loving relationships as she feels these are fundamental to living a happy life.
To visit her Website: www.louise-armstrong.com to message her directly: email@example.com
Soul Mama Blog
Blog to help mamas, on their journey: with the various parts of motherhood and life.