Over the last few weeks - ever since I introduced the Ancestral/Matriarchal Lineage Soul Reading - I have been gaining a deeper understanding about myself and my role in my maternal line. The world has opened up and I am understanding, the complexities and energies of my role in the bigger picture of what I am doing. I can see with more clarity how the past choices of my mother (and her mother before her) brought us to the spaces that we are in today, as well as how I do the same with my children…it’s almost line I can see the decisions, thoughts and actions manifest…and my connection to the world as a whole and to other mothers and their daughters has also been expanded.
A few days ago, I decided to skim through the movie Lovelace - something that has been happening to me more and more…the desire to watch movies (I rarely watch movies, or TV - but have been called to, over the last few weeks), and this movie was one of them. It is the real life story of a young woman gets married to a abusive and controlling man, who pushed her into doing pornography…and about the abuse that she suffered a result of him and how she got out of it *if this king of stuff triggers you, please don’t watch the movie - I assure you I had to skip thorough most of the movie because I am very sensitive to these themes and stories* …now I know that you’re thinking, ‘ Okay, what does this have to do with anything?’ Well to put it simply, somewhere along the story, before she is able to actually get away from the abuse, she decided that she wanted to get away from her husband and the abuse, and she went to her mother to ask for a place to stay: she describes some of the abuse that she is going through with her husband, to which her mother responds, “well what did you do?”, proceeding to remind her that women must be obedient to their husbands and other things along this line.
At the end of the movie, once the character is free from the abusive husband, and is talking about her experience, she is asked the question by a TV host, regarding how she ended up the porn industry and why she allowed the husband to dictate to her what she did, to the extent that she did, her response was 'I grew up thinking that I had to be obedient to my husband.’ Stating somehow that she was taught not to question and to comply…and for me, it all came down to the reality that, no matter how much we try to avoid it, the decisions that we make, the way that we treat and react to, and the thoughts, habits and energies that we put into our children, have an effect - and the energies of these things carry further than we understand at the moment that they are happening.
After doing some research, after the movie, I learned that the mother of the protagonist was a devoutly religious women, who’s views on marriage and life, were very rigid and shaped her daughter to the point that she felt, in her Self, that she had no choice other than to obey her abuser…yes, it’s easy to say well, she didn’t have to. Or to think well, she could’ve always escaped and not have followed what was taught to her, but I ask you:
How many of us, unconsciously create and act out what we viewed as children? Or how many times do you react in a way that remind you of your mother? Things that you thought or swore that you would never do or say to your children, make it’s way our of your mouth or came up as actions?…
In order to make the changes necessary in our lives, to escape the conditioning that was input into us as children we must really dig within and question everything about us: thoughts, beliefs, meanings of ourselves, the role that the people around us play…it is a very involved process.
The story of her life has brought me back to the reminder that the things: ideas, examples, thoughts, etc., have a lasting effect of who they are.
As I step away from her perspective, the protagonist and move into a space of understanding her mom, and I think about how she must’ve felt to know that the belief system that she inputted into her daughter caused to much pain for the both of them:
this also connects me to the pain that must’ve been inputted into the mom from childhood (to grip an ideology so heavily as a saving grace), as well as the pain that this must've caused her (the protagonist) children, and the healing that must’ve had to happen or is probably still happening, I am amazed by the grander off all of this.
Spiritually, as a channel I see, and understand the bigger picture:
This was necessary in part of the the human consciousness in order to help women release some of the baggages of bondage to the patriarchy that was apparent throughout the entire movie: her mother’s, as well as the use of her body by being objectified the way that it was. I understand that this journey was necessary to help her get into a space where she grew stronger through the lack of strength. She was forced to climb through the trenches in life, to find her voice, for her maternal line, who had none, and to help other women, through a book that she eventually wrote, to help victimized and abused women in the world…
But as a mother and a woman, I am reminded that this moment, NOW, is where the things change. It’s where the stuff happens, and it can only happen when I change myself, so that my junk is not passed onto my children - and this movie was a great reminder of this concept.
When I started to move into a space of becoming a more in-tuned mama in order to change the things that I didn’t want to input into my children, the first place that I started was in becoming in-tuned with myself. I began to listen to myself, my stories, my thoughts, and my feelings…I began with stripping myself from the things that no longer served my children. I took their behavior as my guides. I allowed myself question myself and question my actions…I learned to become empowered by learning how to empower my children. I learned how to understand what was happening around me, and tuned into my inner world, and into the things that made my family, my lineage as well as my children…and I know that it’s time for more of us to do this inner work as well.
To understand how our choices, affect our children in the future. TO do away with the junk within ourselves that no longer serves us. To empower ourselves and our children and the coming lineage.
I know that it is no coincidence that the Ancestral/Maternal Lineage Soul Readings have been brought to life at this moment. Because the time for them is right. Now more than ever, we: Mothers/Woman are ready to step into our power. To understand the things that shaped us at one point, understand they why’s, connect with our lineage, energetically, release what no longer serves, and move into our power so that our children can grow in the world, free from the chains of the past.
I was fortunate to find a space when my children were younger where I learned how to claim my power, and I want to share with you how to do this also…
Myself and two shamanic teachers, have put together a video series, and workshop called the Empowered Mama, where we will be helping mamas step into this space. We will be giving them get the tools to step into a space where they are empowered in their journey, by helping the access the things that they are here to heal and move forward from, with their children.
Because it is time for us to move into our power. To do the work that we are here to do, and learn how to release the things that no longer serve us - to heal ourselves and our children. To learn more about this video series, as well as the 2 day workshop in NY go here.
Or if you want to receive a Ancestral/Matriarchal Linage Soul Reading, or learn more about them, go HERE.
Soul Centered Mama