At some point, I came to the understanding, that parenting was not something that happened to me, as a result of a pregnancy, but something that I am consciously creating and breathing life into. Something that has a tone, a life force and something from which I constantly grow - and when this understanding arrived, it was a defining moment that has shaped me and something that keeps me striving to find other levels of understanding and growth with my children.
For me, spirituality in parenting is that thing that is always forcing me to look within for the answers to the issues that I might be having without, and always bringing me back to a place within myself where I discover hidden jewels of knowledge through my children, their roles in my life, my past experiences, and through my learning to release what might not serve us as a family. Spirituality in parenting is a constant flow - like water. It is gaining wisdom internally constantly though our experiences, our children, and other factors within our lives. It forces me to think about whether I am parenting out of habit and fear, or am I parenting from a place of learning how to continually respect who my children are as individuals, and helping them grow into their potential: it's hard for many of us to be in this space because for so long we have been parenting according to influences that are outside of our selves, creating havoc in our lives and the lives of our children.
Understanding the Soul Journey™, that I share with them, as well as the journey that I am on myself, helps me set myself and them free to the chains of the past, expectations and struggles that go along with a lot of behavioral stuff (doesn't mean that I don't have challenges, I just meet them as opportunities to grow), because the truth is that I don't want them to see the world through my clouded filters of yesterday, and through my reactions. I want to free them from these things, giving them the full understanding of their own emotions and actions, so that they can go into the world with as little past issues as possible. I realize that my influence is heavy on their future. I realize that conditioned thinking of what a "good child'' or "bad child" is, is just that, a conditioning. My job is not to label, but to help them in the moment to understand what's going on, so that they can grow from each experience - having a double effect: one on them, and another one on me. One of my questions to myself is always, how can I free them from this action or reaction, if I put it into them, through my actions and reactions?
The traditional western way of raising children (the ego) tells us that we, the adults - the parents - are the older ones and therefore are the ones who know more and should be listened to. But I have realized that it's not about this. It's more about learning how to listen and understand the world in a different way. I learned to uncover layers of buried hurt, by allowing them the freedom to feel as they do, and be who they are - while guiding them through the world. By allowing myself to learn with them, and looking for ways to solve our issues in creative ways that help all of us, rather than in ways that quiet them, and may serve only me.
Being a spiritual mama, who strives to keep myself and my children aligned to our spirits and our soul purposes, means learning to always question the purpose for our challenges, learning to release the hold on things being, 'a certain way,' or having to be 'because I said so'. I've learned to move along with them in this journey. My goal is not to raise complacent humans, or to raise human beings that have to fight through layers of childhood hurt in adulthood - like myself, or many other adults are doing right now - but rather raise humans that can change with the seasons, have emotional intelligence, understand where life is taking them, learn how to lean into what is necessary for their growth, and in order to do this, I need to do this myself...here lies the magic - and that which I offer other mamas that are searching for ways to connection and harmony. The gift of learning how to remove what is chained to a past that does not serve, so that they can move into what is being created now...learning how to become soulful mamas, as we learn to understand the spirituality in parenting.
Soul Mama Blog
Blog to help mamas, on their journey: with the various parts of motherhood and life.