In the conscious parenting community, there seems to be a gloss-over, over the fact that parenting can be hard sometimes. There are countless posts online, that talk about the various outcomes that some of the negative behaviors that we parenting can accidentally or unintentionally intentionally inflict into our children's subconscious, with things like yelling, blaming, or not understanding out children's feelings: the problem is that there is so much talk about what can happen to our children in the future, but no one talks about how WE the parent can actually CHANGE the behavior that we want to stop in the first place - and no one wants to talk about, the fact that in order to actually make the changes that we want to make in our homes, we must fact the dark times, because they actually teach us HOW to make the changes, or where to start. So today, I'll tell you...
It starts with understanding that everything that happens is a lesson, and that dark times, are our teachers. You see, we have been taught in one way or another, that we should not feel bad or down, or worse yet, that feeling these ways means that we're doing something wrong (we've been taught to hide from the "bad" feelings) the problem is that like with anything in life these times are also a part of the process, and the more that we fight what's happening, the harder the things become. The more I understood this, the more I understood that the dark times in my life, were actually teaching me something - and although it might not feel great - these times were important, because it meant that I was going through a change, learning to view something in another way, or growing into another part of me - something that can only happened when I accepted the uncomfortable moments, and took what I needed out of them.
One of the hardest parts of my life was when I had four small children under four. During this time, my kids were all very needy of me, I was alone the entire day, had no help, and I didn't have the ability to change my situation. During this time all I did, day in and day out was clean up messes, stop sibling fights, and prepare food. It was a very hard period, in which I wanted to run away most of the time - and because I knew that I was the sole person responsible, I figured out that I had to do something because in my struggle, I was starting to feel trapped...and so, I stopped running from my feelings, and I began to look within to find the answers to the questions I was feeling, and look for the active solution...and what I found was that when I learned to look within, the answers to the issues were within me all of the time. I learned that I was responsible for the experiences in my life, and that I had choices that I didn't think of. I learned that the times that I was experiencing were helping me get rid of a parts of myself that were no longer needed, and that I was birthing a new me - all I had to do was face the hard moments, to go within to figure out what they were trying to tell and me and make the changes necessary to line up with the happiness that I wanted to create - and the next part of the puzzle, was learning how to feel, without having it take over my home, and learning how to make the changes necessary to keep moving forward. The trick was to stop hiding or running from the feelings, and learning how to feel into them (while using tools to stop myself from loosing it with my kids) AND accepting the lessons that the moments were gifting me.
This week in my group Soul Centered Mamma Tribe, I am going to be talking about this more in depth, if you'd like to learn more, please join. Or if you'd like to have a one on one talk with me, or have a spirit baby reading, please GO HERE to contact me and schedule a time to talk.