We all know that we want to be the best parent possible...that's a given. No one sets out to be short tempered, frustrated, or a parent who feels that they are always fighting with or against their child...but the thing is that these moments happen - and over the last few weeks, in talking to various moms, I've realized that what most moms need in order to not be "that mom" is not to learn stop their child's behavior, but to stop their own reactions so that they can react to their kids with love and understanding. We naturally want harmony, but, we sometimes don't know how to get to this point...today I am going to share with you the reason why you may have a hard time reacting in a way that lines up with the kind of parent that you want to be...Are you ready? Here it is. Until you either 1) deal with whatever emotions you are feeling (parenting or non-parenting related) and/or release them, or 2) learn how to feel them deeply without allowing them to bubble up: is it hard to stop reacting, lashing out or continuing the behaviors that you want to stop. Why? Because your reactions don't come from what your child is doing, but from the emotions that you have within you.
Some sage, or guru (I can't remember which one) said that we are the only ones that have control over our emotions, and I believe that this is true - but the problem is that we have been taught to fight the emotions and the issues in our lives and to turn a blind eye. We've been taught to ignore them and keep pushing on because feeling not ok, it not ok...but this is where we can often run into our reactions. It's hard to control your emotions and reactions when you bury them to the point that you don't know why you're feeling...I am sure that if you look back at any time when you were having a hard time keeping your cool with your kid(s) it was probably not because you wanted to be crazy mom or because your child was doing anything that is uncommon for children, but because at that part of your life, you were probably having some sort of an issue with something, and you didn’t understand it - I bet that if you could take back the reaction right now, you would, choosing to react instead in another way; because the truth of the matter is that that moment wasn't really about what your child was doing, but about the cloud that you were under. Understanding typical child behavior or understanding your mindset will help, but ultimately learning to identify your emotions and normal reactions is what will help you put together the entire piece of the puzzle.
So the trick is actually not to make your child behave or learn to control their behavior, but to learn to understand your reasons and reactions, differentiate their behaviors from your emotions and reactions and be calm and peaceful whenever possible...the bonus is that it doesn't only help them, but it helps you grow as a person and become more joyful too.
If you want to learn tips to learn how to release your emotions, join me in my FB group: Soul Centered Mamma Tribe, where the theme for this week is going to be learning how to understand how your feelings are affecting you, how to spot them, and get a few tools to help you start to understand your feelings and stop your instant reactions.
If you want direct help with something, a soul or spirit baby reading, click here, to book a time today.