For a VERY long time, when people would stop me and ask me things like, "how do you do it with so many kids?" I could never come up with an answer. My response was always something like 'you know, when you gotta do it, you do it.' or something like, 'oh you know one day at a time' - and although this is true, I realized recently, that what these moms were looking for was help - only, at the time, I didn't know how to answer them, because to be honest with you, I am not a method parent: meaning, I don't use methods, or parenting tricks to control my kids, or get my kids to do what I want: and although they are all great kids (Really. They are :D) the secret to my parenting success comes from the simple fact that I've always understood the essence of WHO my kids are, and respect them in this way.
When I learned to remember who my children are, deep inside (their core, the essence of their being) and learned to treat them each as the special individual spirit that they are - out of respect for this individuality - our worlds started to change. For instance, one of my twins is very sensitive to loud sounds - (always, even when I was pregnant with him) - he is not a loud person by nature, and he has always had a very relaxed personality: he doesn't react well to loud music, loud sounds, or over stimulating circumstances. When I learned to remember these things about him our relationship started to change. Yes. The "normal" reaction to behavior like this, when not looking at the individual child is to say, "You're the parent. He lives in your house. He should adapt to what you want, etc." (all things that I've heard before), but the reality of the situation is that this is who he is. It's how he came into the world, and because I know that this is part of his being, and I respect this about him, the reactions that bring disconnect, don't happen, because I respect who he is.
When I learned to see this and understood that this is part of who he is (he and the other things about my other children), it changed our lives changed dramatically and created harmony. At the end of the day, our children are human beings with their own individual desires, feelings and spirit, and when we learn to remember this, and to honor them, the journey is not as hard as is always seems: and we - the parent - learn a thing or two about how to understand and relate to our children.
To connect to their energy now, I leave you with three questions:
Think about these three questions, and start to tune into their essence, and don't be afraid to do some digging. Understanding their spirit and their individual traits, will help you connect, and help you figure out ways to help them deal with big feelings (both yours and theirs).
Do you want to learn more about your child's energy and the essence of who they are: and how this can help you parent with more connection? Schedule a call with me here, to learn about my various services.