One thing this entire year has become resoundingly clear to me, and that is, that the only thing that I can do while I'm in it, is to learn how to be in the thick of the muck, the hurt, the yuck, and own it, so that I don’t input it into my children or loved ones.
This year has been a year of LOTS of ancestral release, healing, understanding and facing - on more levels than I can say. I've had to face and move through months of things coming up also.
In this entire process the one thing that I keep coming back to, over and over again, is repeating the pattern of allowing the hurt to move through without reacting.
Let’s be honest, we all have hurts and things that feel gross, that come up - all of us. The only differences are the way that we process it.
It has come to my recent understanding over the last few months, that even though I offer different types of readings to my clients, the work that helps them the most is learning how to use the time of being IN IT, productively...meaning, using the time of the hurt, as an avenue for learning and self discovery.
Using this time to get the most of who you’re supposed to move into and grow from, while not inputting the echo into those around you… the phrase “challenging to do” seems to feel minuscule in comparison to the task.
I always say, when I talk about my approach to “healing” and facing the things that don’t feel great, is that it feels like I’m running towards a firing squad with my eyes wide open and arms outstretched.
This doesn’t mean that it feels great.
It doesn’t mean that I’m not often afraid of the stuff that is going to come up, and the things that I’m going to feel, but what it does mean, is that I understand the importance of allowing this stuff to come up, so that it can be processed, seen, heard, felt, understood healed and released.
Today, I want to share some of the parts of this process.
Time and time again, because I/you/we am/are human, there is always something that we are moving through.
In our moments or days, sometimes years, we are all sifting through something that is trying to come out and move through.
The magic in this process, comes in when we stop fighting it, and give into what it’s trying to teach us…
The levels vary - obviously, because we’re all human and different - and the purposes in our lives vary also.
The only way to actually get what these things are trying to tell us, and learn how to use them for their purpose and ultimately heal them and move forward, is to understand that there is something for us to release into and learn from…
In this process, when we allow, is when we will find the jewels. Today, I want to share with you, how to allow yourself to move into this place, while not inputting unnecessary stuff into the people around you, so that you can get the most of it.
First. Why is this important? To stop the hurt from affecting those around you? Well. I’ll say because when we’re in places that don’t feel too great, and we’re not owning it, what happens is that we have a great tendency to give to (or project) our pain into others.
Sometimes it’s easier to do this, than to own…but when we don’t own, we repeat.
Now. I want to add a note here, that projecting hurt, and finding people who get us, that we can confide, in are two different things - but that’s another topic… so here we go.
As hinted above, the first thing to do, is to begin to OWN your feelings.
Own that these things are yours, and no one else’s.
It’s very easy for us to blame others and to say…
or some other thing that is easy to say. But the truth is that, our feelings/emotions are ours. No one else's.
To constantly blame, finger point and project, keeps other people accountable for our feelings and emotions.
It becomes a never ending cycle of pain.
You/me/we project onto them, they do it back to us, and in turn to other people that they come across. Sometimes siblings (OH BOY does this happen…have you ever noticed that when you have a tough day or week, within a few days, or sooner - all of your kids are reacting to each other in ways that mirror your tough day/week?)...
...it happens. I have been working in this space, since my children were babies, but we all have times that feel tough and challenging. What's important is that we stop blaming ourselves also, and continue to allow ourselves to refocus into the bigger picture, that will help us in the moments.
After you begin to own your feelings and begin understanding that they are yours and no one else’s… your reactions coming from an earlier experience that echoed into your present moment (click here to listen to a SCM audioblog on emotions/feelings)…the next thing to do is to begin to learn how to pause your reactions, so that you can understand what they’re actually trying to tell you.
This is what I like to call, silent time.
I am a huge believer in silence…which is funny in a very ironic way, because any one that knows me personally knows that I talk A LOT.
When things are coming up, I take as much time as I need to sit with what’s coming up so that it can teach me, or tell me, what’s underneath the reactions.
During these times, I make it a point to only talk and interact when necessary.
When someone asks me a question.
When my children need guidance or if something needs my immediate attention.
If I have to talk on the phone (even this is limited) or go out… you get it. I ONLY talk when I have to.
The rest of the time, I’m silent.
I journal more...
I do deep breathing work...
I might meditate...
I might take a walk…
Take showers or a baths...
I do things that help me maintain my calm, while I’m analyzing what’s coming up.
Which leads me into the next thing.
I’ve learned how to view what’s coming up with a lens of cleansing, release, restructuring and healing.
This is something that requires some understanding.
The next thing, is that in these moments when things are coming up and I sit with them, to allow, I’ve
learned how to input instead, the reactions that I want to ripple.
I have learned that this process, over and over again, when I allow it, to show me, break me open, and guide me, always gives me what I need in the moments of stuff coming up for healing.
There is deeper work to do in this place, but when we learn how to understand the process and how to use it, we’re able to heal ourselves and stop the echo from moving into them.
The Ancestral Readings, were born during a time when I realized that my work was expanding into helping others see and work with deeper energies that were present within their family lines so that they could make changes to create - consciously create - what they wanted to see with their children vs, automatically putting into them (the parent), what was given to them as children…but before I began doing this kind of work for others, I began putting this work into my children and my home first.
This work began silently - as pretty much anything in life, that is part of our calling or purpose - before I was aware of it. Before I actually knew what I was doing.
It began with me as a child and teenager, loving children and being able to see their deep connection to spirit.
It began with me understanding that there was more to life, than what I could see with my eyes.
It began with me being able to see patterns and understand the energies that were surrounding me…only back then, it didn’t mean this. At first I thought that all people could do this, and then when I learned that that wasn’t the case, I thought that I was weird, and hid my abilities from everyone and everywhere.
But, because life is funny sometimes, I learned what it meant to actually do the deeper work of what I could see, in my home with my children, when I realized that I was creating the the opposite of what I wanted and believed. I became aware of this when my then 4 yo daughter, was not aligning with what I envisioned in my heart, for us.
This began my deeper work and my connection to the in-life - intentional (because before that I did this work on autopilot) - changing of the energies around me.
I realized that the habits, themes, actions and behaviors that I was putting into her, were not the habits that I wanted her (and my other children) to grow with. During this time, I also realized that I had some serious programming that was running on autopilot. Programming that I needed to release and change so that I could stop what I was doing the things that were not working.
I realized that we were playing out a story that had been set into motion years before I was even on this earth.
We’d been playing what I like to call the, “this is what was done to me, so I’ll do it to you,” game.
The reality hit that I had a lot of deprograming and changes to make, in order actually make the changes.
This sent me into a period in my time, that I call observation - a period in which I literally put everything on hold and just observed our entire life.
Our habits. Our interactions. My reactions. My thoughts. My patterns. My beliefs. Subconscious stories that I’d written, and was playing out. How these patterns played out in my children. My parents. How I reflected them, and how my children reflected me.
Everything, became a point of self reflection.
In it’s depth, this period lasted about 5 years (although I still move in this way often - especially when something is coming up that requires healing).
Understanding the what, where and why, became my focus so that I could understand my input, in order to change my output.
I became obsessed with making changes that would shift our lives, heal me and in turn heal them deeply.
During this time, I learned what it mean to put what I could see and understand into action…because truth be told, I can see the energies of everything all day long, but if I’m not putting what I see into action, they what’s the use?
The truth is that we are all, an amalgamation of our ancestors, the people, events and things that came before us, and when we learn to understand this, shift and evolve through it, rather than become entrapped in it, we evolve.
This time taught me how to deepen and strengthen my self awareness.
To learn to observe others outside of myself.
I learned how to challenge my self and beliefs.
How to stop auto reactions, and how to input what I wanted to create instead.
My insights and intuition deepened.
How to see the hurt, how to heal it, and stop it with me.
How to feel the feelings that those before me had suffered and fallen into.
I learned how to see my reflection in their actions.
I learned how to see my children for who they are, not what I perceived.
How to shift my mindset to help cultivate them, rather than fall into traps of hurt.
I learned how to grow in silence.
I learned how to forgive myself for my lack of perfection.
I learned how to input conscious creation and intention instead
I learned how to understand the process within this time, and how to use it to create.
I learned how to become the change.
It’s often said, that we have to know where we were, to know where we’re going - this time taught me that this is absolutely true.
The truth is that I am still always learning.
The future (or past) is not set in stone, and it is possible to make changes, to be the change that we want to see…we just have to be willing to do the work, the internal work, to change and heal.
This process comes again always at different times (usually when I feel like I have it all figured out HA!).
And each time, I gain something different - but always with the purpose of healing myself - and them - at a deeper level.
The truth is that ancestral work and readings, as well as my Soul Readings for the higher self of moms, and children, is all interconnected. It’s all part of the whole - part of the web or creation, that is always leading us home.
I started off my ancestral search (and I’m still not done), so that I could heal my children from what I’d done to them when I was blind, and the process brought me back home to myself.
This is the true meaning of when we heal the self, we heal the rest: 7 generations front, 7 back, and sideways as well.
Self healing, is ancestral healing, which is also child healing. It’s all connected.
Are you looking for deeper help to heal, transform, or move forward with something? Click HERE to learn how I can help you.
Or if Soul Readings are your thing, where I intuitively connect to to the other realms for you go HERE.
Emotions and feelings: Knowing the difference can Change your Life, bring Awareness and Help you Heal
I learned a long time ago, that for me to shift, into places of healing and understanding, that I had to start within first. One of the first places that I started, was with knowing and understanding the difference between emotions and feelings, and allowing these two different things to release what was mine, from what wasn't mine, and it allowed me to begin to release the behaviors and thoughts that were not serving what I wanted to create within my home, with my children and in my life.
In this week's, our audio blog, I talk about emotions and feelings, and how these things helped me make the changes that I was seeking, and how becoming aware of these things sent me into a rabbit hole, to discover and find what I'd been seeking.
The topics covered within are:
- the reactions of my children, and learning how teach them to react in the ways that lined up with our values,
- how learning the difference between emotions and feelings started me on a road to healing,
- and the differences are between emotions and feelings.
and other things as well.
To listen to it, click below.
To Follow me on Social Media
This week, I decided to create an "audio blog" instead, of a blog post.
Listen to why, and also learn about the connection between spirit babies and the blocks that we often come upon, that I learned about this week, trying to create a follow-up blog post, to the blog post Spirit Babies and the Magic that they bring.
In this "audio blog" I talk about:
- these connections,
- hitting a wall,
- the purpose of these walls
- and what to do when you hit a wall
To follow me on social media or contact me:
Today I want to talk about Spirit Baby Readings.
New Year comes fast doesn’t it?
It’s hard to believe that it’s already 2018. I feel as if 2017 was so short, maybe because I began 2017 with the intension of doing one thing, but the year took me in an entire new direction.
In 2017 I set out to conquer the world, with Soul Centered Mama. I felt at that time, that the way for me to help mamas, was to help them learn how to understand their children’s behavior, so they could learn to become the kind of mama who parents from the the soul - and 2017 reminded me that there is so much more to parenting from the soul than just understanding behavioral stuff, because there is deeper work that we do with our children, ourselves, and within our lives, to help us become Soul Centered so that we can be Soul Centered Mamas.
One of the things that I do best, is flow in order to introspect, and see the things that are happening all around me with detachment and understanding - so that when the time to act is upon me, I can step into the action that is required…now that we are officially in 2018, I can understand why 2017 was the way that it was: a year that I had to release and leave a lot of habits and thoughts that I identified with deeply behind me. I had to make and live many life changes, which reminded me that parenting, child behavior, and life are all intertwined. I remembered that changes are a part of life - and I had to change.
To learn what I’m talking about, go here.
Last week being New Year, a lot of us, were feeling the desire to make changes, and move away from things that no longer serve us - even though, many have been feeling the desire to make changes for quite sometime, I feel like it’s still the perfect time for me to talk about changes and maintaining changes in the long run, because it’s easy for life to swoop back into the same old stuff when we’re not consciously aware of how to continue the plans for the things that we want to do.
Today I want to talk to you about the mechanics of change.
Not because you want to reach a goal or because you were prompted to by a holiday, but because somewhere inside of yourself, you feel the inkling that something has to change - and when we know the process behind change, it’s easier to maintain what we want to create.
2017 showed me that in order or me to get to where I want to be, that I had to release what was not what or where I wanted to be, but more importantly I had to release the control of how.
2017 taught me about change through all of the events of last year, that really drove home, the fact that being a Soul Centered Mama, is more than just one aspect of life and motherhood, but also the deep process that permeates changes on various levels of life, and showed me the how changes happen.
Today I want to share, with you these steps.
Surrender doesn’t mean giving up, it means knowing that something is not serving you, and allowing yourself the permission to change your mind. One of the things that we do, with or without realization is that we hold onto the idea of things that no longer serve us, because it’s what we know. It’s comfortable. In order to make changes, we have to surrender the idea or attachment to what no longer works. We have to be willing to part. To let yourself change your mind about what you thought was.
Allow yourself the space to heal, deeply. Healing your self, is often not instant, but comes in stages and waves. Sometimes, things feel like they’re going great as you go along, and then something comes in to put a kink in what you envisioned, and here you go, either backwards, or feeling down about something. This is ok. It’s a process. In this process many things will come up that will bring up more layers of the puzzle pieces that you’re trying to put together. Sometimes you need another insight. Sometimes, it’s another layer of stuff. Maybe it’s another change that necessary. It’s all ok. You’re gathering and understanding. Be ok with where you are, and allow yourself to be there without getting down on yourself. It’s part of the process. This usually happens throughout all of these other layers.
Allow yourself to feel that feelings that are attached to what you were holding on to. Know that there are emotions and feelings that will come up. Allowing them to come up as they come. Know that you’re grieving different parts of yourself. Your identity of what you thought was, in order to allow what will be. Sadness, exhaustion, crying, upset, anger, loss, etc. All of these normal things might come up. It’s ok. Let them come.
Similar to surrender, release is about letting go. Letting go of old habits. Releasing what your are doing, that no longer works. Realizing and releasing the grip that we have on habits and patterns that no longer align with what we are trying to create anew. Allow yourself to make changes, as you go along that help you to move into consciously creating the newness.
5. Trust/Be open.
I learned that all circumstances that come up, no matter how cruddy they feel, are ultimately part of the change. Trust that everything is happening for you to keep releasing. We have to be open to things that come up so that we can move into new. Change after all means something new. Sometimes new feels uneasy and makes us afraid. That’s ok. It’s part of change. When we trust that we will get what we want, it’s amazing how the universe synchronizes with us, to help us make the changes. We just have to trust without attachment (surrender) to what things will look like, or what they’re supposed to look like.
2017 was a year of lots of surrender and change for me, and while some of it was hard, all of it, at the end came because it helped me deepen the work that I am here to do. The work that will help me help mamas, in the various areas of their lives.
Does it mean that it’s easy? Nope. But it’s always worth it. All of it helped my understand the depth that we are healing, in order for us to be the change in our lives and for out children, and to help us align with our truths and selves.
Understanding how change happens, makes it easier to move into what you’re creating and how to make it happen.
P.S. To learn more, talk to me or schedule a Soul Reading, go HERE.
After a busy day of home schooling, starting the day with some work assignments for my Forest School training whilst the kids slept, then taking them out for a morning walk to try and quell the squabbling and bickering which had been yesterday, we got home from their evening swimming club and I faced the kitchen; dinner to cook, dishes to wash, and preparing the activities for tomorrow’s Forest School session. I looked around, all surfaces covered; plates, laundry, the sticky skins of lemons the girls had squeezed to make lemonade with mint from the garden earlier in the day, pots of dry lentils and beans my four year old loves to play with, the calls of the kids from the next room, and I felt truly, utterly beaten.
Beaten, not by the difficult behaviour of my kids, for they are no trouble really, they are lovely, vibrant, busy children, exploring, creating, learning, but beaten by the weight of the everyday overwhelm of everything that it takes to care for kids and run a home. There is just so much to do, always and everyday. And if we as mothers are not very careful, this overwhelm can soon take hold of us, distort our vision, overthrow our hormonal balance and wring the joy clean out of our mothering journey.
Sometimes we have to take a stand against it, against this morass of pressure which builds up within and around ourselves, and which oozes from social media. We have to stand up to it and say ‘no more’. We have to recognize that we are enough. That we are doing enough. That we love and care for our kids more than words can say, and we are doing our very best with the resources we have in each moment.
So let us face that overwhelm, and the voices which accompany it, chastising us, taunting us, reminding us of how we are failing, of how we are not enough, of how we are so much less than. Let us face this. Let us make it stop, and let us remind ourselves, dear, gentle mothers, that we are great. That we are greater, that we are so much greater than the overwhelm which surrounds us.
Rather than trying to run away from it, to shut everyone up, to quickly restore order, walk into the overwhelm, not away from it, walk deeper and deeper into it. And be still. Breathe deeper, deeper than the feelings, the intensity, the drama. As you may have done through labour and birth, taking your breath deeper than the intensity of the experience. Stop, and feel your power. Know you are a Creator. Know that all of this we see before us is of our own creation, and that of those around us. We are powerful creators, we have got this.
Step into the overwhelm, and breathe.
And say to yourself I am here; say to your children I am here.
For the power resides in your words, for when we are here, so fully and completely, with every fibre of our being, we are here, completely alive and in the present moment. And it is from here (and only here), that we are truly powerful and that we can truly affect change.
Look around, breathe deeper than the whole situation, and remind yourself, I am here. Feel this truth deep down in your body, deep in your belly, deep in your womb space.
Awaken to the presence of your power, and the power of your presence.
Allow the stillness to coarse through your veins, allow the spinning and shouting to fade away. Breathe deeper, and bring a sense of stillness to your surroundings.
Feel strength uprising, a strength far greater than the situation, and so capable, so able to hold what needs to be held.
Then feel an awakening in your heart. Feel fierce, pure unconditional love flowing from your heart centre, and feel a softening. As we hold the situation with our power, as we have this, we enable our hearts to open wide and from here we are able to see, once again, with eyes of love, compassion, empathy and understanding.
We have the power to hold, to sort, to connect, to create and re-create.
We remember. We are capable. We are wise.
Gentle mothers, we are so much more than the piles of laundry, the odd socks and diapers, we are so much greater than the unwashed dishes, the sibling squabbles and the feelings of failure which pervade our thoughts when we haven’t been as much, or as good as we hoped we could or should have been.
We are powerful, passionate and loving creators. We hold our children in our hearts, our minds, our arms and our homes. We hold them and tend to them with a love so fierce at times it scares us and shakes us to our core.
Breathe into your power, your love and your fierceness. Breathe deeper than the overwhelm, breathe deeper than whatever creations trouble you just now. Breathe deeper than them all.
And then find your point of stillness.
Connect with your power, connect with your gentle, fierce, pure and loving heart. And look at your kids, yourself and your situation through eyes of love. Feel waves of empathy, understanding and compassion flowing through you. You are love. And so are they. Remind yourself of this.
And now breathe deeper, deep down, all the way, to your place of inner power and indomitable strength. Remember you are as powerful as the Earth. Remember you are a Creator. Remember that you have this. You can do it. You are doing it. And then take a step forward. A step of love, a step of power. For one blazes the way for the other.
You are all of these things gentle mothers; we see you and we need you. Breathe deep, and share your fierceness, gentleness, strength and love with your children and the world. Remember this, we need you.
- Clare Cooper
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Today I want to share with you the truth of it means to parent consciously...because the truth is something different than what many people think...the truth is that this road can hurt and it's time for the truth to be seen, for what it is.
The ugly bits. The ones that many of us woke folk won't talk about...you ready? It will be a bumpy ride...
I grow with and through my children always, but that does not mean that it's easy...
Let me paint you a picture, because I live for the beautiful moments with our children that you see plastered all over:
...picture three brothers playing peacefully with each other. Taking turns and being considerate of one another. Having conversations about something that they heard, saw or learned about. Speaking to the youngest one with so much consideration that any onlooker would be in awe at such a sight. The sounds of laughter and cooperation filling the air...
Yes, this is beautiful and melodic indeed, and often happen in my home...but do you know just how these moments come to be? How we get here, and how this is cultivated through the moments that don't look like this (moment's that happen as well).
Do you know how many days and nights of soul searching there has to be in order for this to come to pass?
How many times I have to go within the depths of myself and darkness to make this happen?
Learning to stay present, in the moments that I want to disconnect from instead. Being present to screams, crying, fighting over toys, implications, and overwhelming toddler screams to make this happen? Over and over again.
The times that I had to stop to question my own programming, conditioning, automatic reactions, hurt, beliefs patterns and stories, to get there...and the reality that this has to happen consistently.
Do you know how many times I had to train my being, to look for the reason why. To tune in and find out their why and purpose, while tuning into and then releasing my judgments? All the while questioning my behavior and learning how to stop my own reactions?
Learning to listen to the feelings of the little one - or really more appropriate in my case "ones" - in front of me, to make the beautiful scene above happen? So that I can input into them what I want them to take versus what I feel.
Learning to see beyond a momentary discomfort into the cause of the problem.
Learning to care less about the thoughts of strangers while I'm out and about with my kids, when my three year old is having a meltdown because he is tired or hungry, so that I can address what he needs instead.
You see, the truth is that being a conscious mama has less to do with the things that people think about when they think conscious or "woke", i.e., crystals, channeling, astrology, tarot, organic, vegan, spells, etc., and more to do with being fully here now, allowing yourself to break wide open, for a deeper understanding, healing and then doing it again. Each time with the promise that what you receive will be a version of you, that is more whole than the last, even though it hurts now.
Being a conscious parent, means willing to face all of those dark parts within, so that you can face the little human that is looking at you without. The same one who is subconsciously poking around at all of those ugly dark parts - and learning how to release the idea of it being their fault or any of the judgments that come with these pokes.
It means, learning to face the shadow, ego, lions, wildness and hurt child within, and dying a million deaths to be the best parent possible for the child that is in front of you right now - with each child requiring his or her own set of action.
Learning to quiet the part of me that wants to run away from the thought of being touched, and learning to soften that for the little one who needs demonstrations of love much more than me needing to be left alone.
As a result teaching me the importance of healing the part who was told that touch during times of high emotions is bad or to be rejected...
It means learning the difference between discipline that builds, from the little voice that is telling you that your voice rules.
It means commitment to following this process through, and then doing it over and over again...through exhaustion, and the feelings of wanting to stop.
So. When I talk about conscious parenting, yup I'm all cosmos, stars and rainbows, but the truth is that the work that is happening is deeper than earth bound, it's work that is connected to the most important thing of all. My being. To that raw open space that wants to run away, and yet can't.
My commitment to this life, and to brining in the next level of 'conscious, woke folk', is bigger than me, and greater than a few tools (although don't get me wrong, I LOVE those tools)...but the truth is that the tools, and life style things, are just the surface - because the practice and action have to be consistent. We have to work on doing those things over and over again. The depths of navigation that is required to bring in people who are aware and free from the past that can bind us, is bigger than these things...and I am committed to the lifestyle and also to helping others understand these things also.
The parents that I have read for, have become instantly transformed through the sessions, but the truth is that there is always something that has to be moved into, with action - something that has to be faced or moved through. An action that we must do, or something that has to be felt...yes, it's a magical process, but it is a process indeed.
Want to schedule a Soul Reading, or learn more about Soulful Guidance Packages?
Till we talk again,
Healing your body, mind and soul after a negative birth experience can be very challenging. Your experiences maybe have you feeling empty, alone, heartbroken or even depressed or traumatised? Maybe you feel like a complete failure, or completely disconnected from your little one? Let me tell you honey, whatever it is you are feeling, it is ok! It is ok, not to be ok! But it is also ok to want to move forward and let go of what no longer serves you.
I have been working with women all around the world, supporting them to heal their (birth)trauma. There are many things we can do to help you move forward to start your healing journey, but most importantly I want you to know is that you are not alone! You are not the only one who is feeling like this and you will get through this. But what can you do? When you feel in such a dark place? Let’s talk about my 3 favourite tips to help you get started;
Tip 1 – listen to your body
What you feel does matter, how you feel also matters, in fact you matter! Start tuning into your body and listen to what it is telling you. Do it right now, just for a minute or 2. I will wait... Close your eyes and feel.
Do you feel angry? Why are you angry? What is behind the anger? Or is it sadness? Or fear? Keep peeling away the layers and keep going until you get to your core. What is it what you need? Do you need to rest? Mourn? Go outside for a walk? Take up some new hobbies? Whatever it is, you need to start giving this to yourself.
Your body can hold onto a traumatic experience, even years after. You can feel this anywhere in your body, but what I see most often is sadness in the chest area, and guilt in the stomach. Our bodies do this, in case something similar happens again, so it can respond quickly right away to keep us safe.
If those feelings aren’t dealt with, it can lead to long-term health problems. That is why it is crucial to make time for yourself each day, to recognise these signs and paying the attention they deserve.
Tip 2 – Do what you love
The next step for you is to start doing what you enjoy again. What did you use to enjoy? Do you still enjoy it? If not, what would you like to start doing? It doesn’t have to cost a lot; it can be as simple as getting out some pen and paper out and making a beautiful drawing. Or maybe make yourself a lovely cup of tea of those tea leaves in the back of your cupboard you have been saving for ‘later’. Your time is now lady, and you need to put yourself first.
I love to use the example of a beautiful rose bush in this case. If the bush doesn’t row right, do we blame the bush? Do we tell the rose how worthless she is? Or do we help her, nurture her, replace her soil, give her water, food and the attention she needs to grow and blossom her beautiful flowers? You need to treat yourself like the beautiful roses! You can’t poor from an empty cup, so start filling it with what you need.
Tip 3 – I am Love
Stop telling yourself that you can’t. I can’t do it, I can’t afford it, I can’t [....] fill in the blank. For the next 4 weeks, I want you to start telling yourself that you can. I can be happy, I can put myself first, I can make that available in my budget. And maybe after those 4 weeks, you want to start saying yourself that “I am happy, I am beautiful, I love you [your name]” when looking into the mirror. Start loving yourself, the good, the bad and everything in between.
You are a beautiful woman and you deserve to be happy.
Susanne Grant is an International Birth & Healing coach and specialises in (Birth) Trauma, PTSD & Body Issues. She supports women all around the world during pregnancy and after birth, providing them with the tools to heal (sexual) abuse & trauma as well as traumatic births. We felt Susanne would be the perfect addition to our website and we asked her to write this beautiful guest blog for you, in which she will share her 3 tips on how to heal birth trauma.
*This image does not belong to Soul Centered Mama. We do not claim any rights to it.
The most powerful thing that a woman can have, in her child rearing years, is a tribe. There. I said it…I remember when my children were all small, the years of four under four…as I like to call it…were some of the hardest years of my life, because these were the years that I was in the thick of it.
All of my children were young. They all needed me all of the time, and I felt that I had very little to give.
I was tired most of that time. I was sleep deprived. I had very little to no help, and everything depended on me. And for a long time, I felt like I was coming apart.
This was the time that I needed the most help, and support and yet, I had none. I was alone most of the time, when I needed sisterhood and community the most…
…because these years, these formative years when our children are younger, the time when their emotional state is created, the foundation for their lives, is when mothers should receive nurturing and caring support, so that they can be as balanced as possible.
But instead the reverse is true. This is the time when a lot of us, are lacking a solid support.
The damage that has been done to motherhood, on many levels, has ensured that we are alone when we need help the most.
A lot of our communities are damaged. The matriarchs of old, are broken, and the tribes that held us up, when it is most needed is no longer available.
Instead what we have is brokenness.
We have competition, we have hurt, we have others protecting their truth onto us.
We have mothers and women who are stuck in loops of pain from the past, who can no longer sustain the village that is needed…and the damage shows.
The pain that is in us, from the loss of tribe and connection, reverberates though us and our children.
It is a loud echo that is felt deeply in the hearts of our collective womanhood.
But today, I proclaim that this is no longer an option.
Today, I state publicly that we need to do better.
Today, I am giving mothers what I needed in those days of four under four.
I am giving you a tribe.
A tribe that listens to you while you heal.
A tribe that helps you when you are down.
A tribe that listens to you, and says "I see you sister.”
A nurturing community.
A sacred space…online. Because many of us, don’t have the option of leaving our children with someone…and mostly because this is the way that is easiest for many to gather - for now...
A space where you can come and learn about the delicacies that is childhood, childhood behavior and how to grow with your child, about yourself and how to release what doesn’t serve you, all while receiving the support of sisterhood.
Support that builds. Support that grows. Support that sees you where you are, and lifts you while you learn about how to be the best mama for your child, understand yourself and them…all while holding you, in a sacred space, while you grow.
Today, I announce that the SCM Sacred Motherhood Tribe, is officially open for enrollment.
It’s time that we come together as a whole and nurture each other where we are. Where we learn to give and receive love, in the ways that we want to give it to our children, while we learn how to be the best mother possible for our children…in the way that we deserve. Sisterhood that builds.
Time to grow from sacred sisterhood that heals…and it all begins Thursday, March 16th.
Do you want to learn more Go here.
P.S. The video for our Empowered Mama Workshop Series, SHADOW is available now! Click here to see.
Soul Mama Blog
Blog to help mamas, on their journey: with the various parts of motherhood and life.