The Ancestral Readings, were born during a time when I realized that my work was expanding into helping others see and work with deeper energies that were present within their family lines so that they could make changes to create - consciously create - what they wanted to see with their children vs, automatically putting into them (the parent), what was given to them as children…but before I began doing this kind of work for others, I began putting this work into my children and my home first.
This work began silently - as pretty much anything in life, that is part of our calling or purpose - before I was aware of it. Before I actually knew what I was doing.
It began with me as a child and teenager, loving children and being able to see their deep connection to spirit.
It began with me understanding that there was more to life, than what I could see with my eyes.
It began with me being able to see patterns and understand the energies that were surrounding me…only back then, it didn’t mean this. At first I thought that all people could do this, and then when I learned that that wasn’t the case, I thought that I was weird, and hid my abilities from everyone and everywhere.
But, because life is funny sometimes, I learned what it meant to actually do the deeper work of what I could see, in my home with my children, when I realized that I was creating the the opposite of what I wanted and believed. I became aware of this when my then 4 yo daughter, was not aligning with what I envisioned in my heart, for us.
This began my deeper work and my connection to the in-life - intentional (because before that I did this work on autopilot) - changing of the energies around me.
I realized that the habits, themes, actions and behaviors that I was putting into her, were not the habits that I wanted her (and my other children) to grow with. During this time, I also realized that I had some serious programming that was running on autopilot. Programming that I needed to release and change so that I could stop what I was doing the things that were not working.
I realized that we were playing out a story that had been set into motion years before I was even on this earth.
We’d been playing what I like to call the, “this is what was done to me, so I’ll do it to you,” game.
The reality hit that I had a lot of deprograming and changes to make, in order actually make the changes.
This sent me into a period in my time, that I call observation - a period in which I literally put everything on hold and just observed our entire life.
Our habits. Our interactions. My reactions. My thoughts. My patterns. My beliefs. Subconscious stories that I’d written, and was playing out. How these patterns played out in my children. My parents. How I reflected them, and how my children reflected me.
Everything, became a point of self reflection.
In it’s depth, this period lasted about 5 years (although I still move in this way often - especially when something is coming up that requires healing).
Understanding the what, where and why, became my focus so that I could understand my input, in order to change my output.
I became obsessed with making changes that would shift our lives, heal me and in turn heal them deeply.
During this time, I learned what it mean to put what I could see and understand into action…because truth be told, I can see the energies of everything all day long, but if I’m not putting what I see into action, they what’s the use?
The truth is that we are all, an amalgamation of our ancestors, the people, events and things that came before us, and when we learn to understand this, shift and evolve through it, rather than become entrapped in it, we evolve.
This time taught me how to deepen and strengthen my self awareness.
To learn to observe others outside of myself.
I learned how to challenge my self and beliefs.
How to stop auto reactions, and how to input what I wanted to create instead.
My insights and intuition deepened.
How to see the hurt, how to heal it, and stop it with me.
How to feel the feelings that those before me had suffered and fallen into.
I learned how to see my reflection in their actions.
I learned how to see my children for who they are, not what I perceived.
How to shift my mindset to help cultivate them, rather than fall into traps of hurt.
I learned how to grow in silence.
I learned how to forgive myself for my lack of perfection.
I learned how to input conscious creation and intention instead
I learned how to understand the process within this time, and how to use it to create.
I learned how to become the change.
It’s often said, that we have to know where we were, to know where we’re going - this time taught me that this is absolutely true.
The truth is that I am still always learning.
The future (or past) is not set in stone, and it is possible to make changes, to be the change that we want to see…we just have to be willing to do the work, the internal work, to change and heal.
This process comes again always at different times (usually when I feel like I have it all figured out HA!).
And each time, I gain something different - but always with the purpose of healing myself - and them - at a deeper level.
The truth is that ancestral work and readings, as well as my Soul Readings for the higher self of moms, and children, is all interconnected. It’s all part of the whole - part of the web or creation, that is always leading us home.
I started off my ancestral search (and I’m still not done), so that I could heal my children from what I’d done to them when I was blind, and the process brought me back home to myself.
This is the true meaning of when we heal the self, we heal the rest: 7 generations front, 7 back, and sideways as well.
Self healing, is ancestral healing, which is also child healing. It’s all connected.
Are you looking for deeper help to heal, transform, or move forward with something? Click HERE to learn how I can help you.
Or if Soul Readings are your thing, where I intuitively connect to to the other realms for you go HERE.
After a busy day of home schooling, starting the day with some work assignments for my Forest School training whilst the kids slept, then taking them out for a morning walk to try and quell the squabbling and bickering which had been yesterday, we got home from their evening swimming club and I faced the kitchen; dinner to cook, dishes to wash, and preparing the activities for tomorrow’s Forest School session. I looked around, all surfaces covered; plates, laundry, the sticky skins of lemons the girls had squeezed to make lemonade with mint from the garden earlier in the day, pots of dry lentils and beans my four year old loves to play with, the calls of the kids from the next room, and I felt truly, utterly beaten.
Beaten, not by the difficult behaviour of my kids, for they are no trouble really, they are lovely, vibrant, busy children, exploring, creating, learning, but beaten by the weight of the everyday overwhelm of everything that it takes to care for kids and run a home. There is just so much to do, always and everyday. And if we as mothers are not very careful, this overwhelm can soon take hold of us, distort our vision, overthrow our hormonal balance and wring the joy clean out of our mothering journey.
Sometimes we have to take a stand against it, against this morass of pressure which builds up within and around ourselves, and which oozes from social media. We have to stand up to it and say ‘no more’. We have to recognize that we are enough. That we are doing enough. That we love and care for our kids more than words can say, and we are doing our very best with the resources we have in each moment.
So let us face that overwhelm, and the voices which accompany it, chastising us, taunting us, reminding us of how we are failing, of how we are not enough, of how we are so much less than. Let us face this. Let us make it stop, and let us remind ourselves, dear, gentle mothers, that we are great. That we are greater, that we are so much greater than the overwhelm which surrounds us.
Rather than trying to run away from it, to shut everyone up, to quickly restore order, walk into the overwhelm, not away from it, walk deeper and deeper into it. And be still. Breathe deeper, deeper than the feelings, the intensity, the drama. As you may have done through labour and birth, taking your breath deeper than the intensity of the experience. Stop, and feel your power. Know you are a Creator. Know that all of this we see before us is of our own creation, and that of those around us. We are powerful creators, we have got this.
Step into the overwhelm, and breathe.
And say to yourself I am here; say to your children I am here.
For the power resides in your words, for when we are here, so fully and completely, with every fibre of our being, we are here, completely alive and in the present moment. And it is from here (and only here), that we are truly powerful and that we can truly affect change.
Look around, breathe deeper than the whole situation, and remind yourself, I am here. Feel this truth deep down in your body, deep in your belly, deep in your womb space.
Awaken to the presence of your power, and the power of your presence.
Allow the stillness to coarse through your veins, allow the spinning and shouting to fade away. Breathe deeper, and bring a sense of stillness to your surroundings.
Feel strength uprising, a strength far greater than the situation, and so capable, so able to hold what needs to be held.
Then feel an awakening in your heart. Feel fierce, pure unconditional love flowing from your heart centre, and feel a softening. As we hold the situation with our power, as we have this, we enable our hearts to open wide and from here we are able to see, once again, with eyes of love, compassion, empathy and understanding.
We have the power to hold, to sort, to connect, to create and re-create.
We remember. We are capable. We are wise.
Gentle mothers, we are so much more than the piles of laundry, the odd socks and diapers, we are so much greater than the unwashed dishes, the sibling squabbles and the feelings of failure which pervade our thoughts when we haven’t been as much, or as good as we hoped we could or should have been.
We are powerful, passionate and loving creators. We hold our children in our hearts, our minds, our arms and our homes. We hold them and tend to them with a love so fierce at times it scares us and shakes us to our core.
Breathe into your power, your love and your fierceness. Breathe deeper than the overwhelm, breathe deeper than whatever creations trouble you just now. Breathe deeper than them all.
And then find your point of stillness.
Connect with your power, connect with your gentle, fierce, pure and loving heart. And look at your kids, yourself and your situation through eyes of love. Feel waves of empathy, understanding and compassion flowing through you. You are love. And so are they. Remind yourself of this.
And now breathe deeper, deep down, all the way, to your place of inner power and indomitable strength. Remember you are as powerful as the Earth. Remember you are a Creator. Remember that you have this. You can do it. You are doing it. And then take a step forward. A step of love, a step of power. For one blazes the way for the other.
You are all of these things gentle mothers; we see you and we need you. Breathe deep, and share your fierceness, gentleness, strength and love with your children and the world. Remember this, we need you.
- Clare Cooper
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You read the title of this blog post and probably wondered what the heck is wrong with this woman. How can I find joy in frustrating moments? I'm a mom, and there is so much to do, where is the joy in my to do list?
Well, I'm here to tell you that there is plenty of joy to be found. The key lever in discovering this joy is in how you look at the situation. I know it is hard. With all the demands on our plates as moms, it is a challenge to remember to slow down and be joyful. The beautiful thing is we have a choice in everything we do and with that choice comes the opportunity to find joy.
For example, your children make a mess in the living room after you have cleaned up. When my kids make these kinds of choices, it infuriates me. I mean, they just saw me cleaning up and here they go creating a mess. It is frustrating and hard to get past, but at that moment I have a choice to make. I can scream at them for what they just did, or I can take a few breaths to calm down and look for some joy at the moment. When I give the situation a fresh look, I see my children playing creatively, safely and happily. I realize I can use this moment to teach them how to clean up their mess and how to help mommy when she is cleaning.
It doesn't happen seamlessly every time. There are times when I blow up and just let my rage take over. However, I keep those moments to a minimum.
I want my children to have happy memories of their time with me. Life does happen, so all of our times together won't be happy ones, but I can make a choice to find happiness more often than not.
Finding your Joy in Frustrating Moments
1. Release expectations that everything must be perfect.
Just because you cleaned the house doesn't mean it has to be spic and span. Know that there is beauty in the imperfections, and by releasing your expectations, you are allowing more joy to come your way.
2. Take a deep breath before making a choice.
When you feel your body tensing and the frustration boiling, take a deep breath. Let the breath bring relaxation into your body. Wait until that breath is released before making choices.
3. Look for moments of joy.
Purposefully look for the moments of happiness. Make an effort to look for the laughter and the happiness at the moment.
You have a choice whether to be joyful or to be frustrated. What choice will you make?
- Elly Blanco
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Parenting when understood as an act of spirituality, can help us get in touch with our inner worlds, when we know what we are looking for. All of the readings that I conduct, are successful in helping parents with their children, not because there is a magical formula that comes about, but because the mamas are connected with the spirit and energy of their children and relationship, helping them realign with the parts that have become disconnected, the realization that most of the issues that we have with our children, happen not because we are inept parents, but because there is something that has become unaligned within, or that there is something that we are working towards, and the readings help bridge that.
Although I bridge the worlds and bring messages, so that mamas just like you can start to get clarity and understand the purpose of their relationship with their children, it is difficult to really understand how this happens and how it is that the unity to help propel them forward happens, unless you experience a reading for yourself. Today I want to help you understand this better.
One of the first things, that I do, whenever I have a baby, is that I go within and I tap into the essence of my child, and try to understand who they are and the energy that they carry so that I can get to know them intimately. This way, I understand the energy that they carry within themselves, and what they bring me and my life, once the baby is born. One of the next things that I do, is pull their astrology chart (something that I ONLY offer to coaching clients). I do this so that I can have a deeper understanding of who they are and their mission. I familiarize myself with this, so that I can understand how we are affecting each other, and what we are in each others lives to teach and learn. This is so important because as we all know, everyone that we come into contact with is teaching us something or helping us learn something - our children are no exception - they come with life-long lessons. For instance, one of the life-long lessons that my twins teach me is how to put in grounded work energy. I am by nature a very free spirited person - and they are in their pure essence very grounded and require stabilizing energies to feel balanced - I know that in order for them to feel stable, they need order and routine - this is a life lesson for me - because again, I am naturally free spirited. In understanding this, I can get rid of the feeling that there is something wrong with them, due to my propensity to be free spirited, and in turn I understand that they require stabilizing forces to keep them grounded, I provide them with the emotional support that they need, while they learn how to be more free spirited in their routined approach...we are balancing each other.
Understanding how the energies and the spirit within our family lives and our relationships is a HUGE part of learning how to balance our homes and our lives - and one of the biggest reasons that I am able to live in harmony with my children and with myself...it is also the reason that my readings help provide my clients with so much immediate clarity: they don't have to fumble around in the dark. You can get to the core of what you're doing for each other and start working from there...once you understand the purpose, you can start to put in the work to create the life that is going to help you both move forward in harmony...once I understood that my twins came to help me balance my work flow through practical everyday tasks, I no longer had to fight their need for routine and structure - I stopped the story that told me these boys are too rigid, and the story then became, these boys feel comfortable when they have a routine, they bring me to earth and help me stay grounded. In the long run, this energy has literally helped me build other parts of my life - for instance, they taught me how to put in the practical work, to be able to sustain a business - through the life lessons of having to be routined for them, I learned how to be practical in my work approach, and how to take the steps necessary to sustain something in the long run - rather than just slapping something together, and expecting it to come together magically - a free spirited trait - I learned how to keep going because of them, throughout the years.
Here's the thing, I know that the readings are pricy (there is a payment plan, you know), but what you get from them, is life altering information - right from the source (your child's higher self, your higher self). You learn about your energies, what you're each creating, working towards, and/or releasing. The information is priceless, because you are able to get to the heart of what you and your child need. You receive immediate clarity, and tap into something magical within. You view the grander picture. You get a whole life understanding of what you are each creating in your lives, and can move into a space of getting deep truths and moving into the magic that is naturally yours...here are just some of the results that some mamas have had after a reading...
I ask you, how can I be of service to you today? Where? In what area can I provide lazer clarity, and help you move into flow? I invite you to book your time today, and let me help you move into this space. Or if you've already had a reading, or are one of my tribe members and would like to gift one to a friend or family member, there is referral pricing available to you, and you can contact me HERE about this.
Book your time here, today.
I started off this post with the intension of elaborating on a video that I shared with my tribe Soul Centered Mama a few days ago, where I was talking about how language affects the way that we parent our children...but as life is, my toddler woke up as I started to write and completely derailed my thoughts - and something else came instead: this blog post is about that thing...
I found myself completely annoyed when my baby (he's three. he's a toddler. I call him baby) woke up, and feeling frustrated because I had to stop my thought process and the story with the words that I'd already written in my brain. My train of thought was derailed and here I was doing something other than what I set out to do. Then it hit me. This happens a lot. My frustrations when I intended to do something that wasn't possible at the moment. As I surrendered into the moment of putting him back to sleep, I introspected (my go to method) about how often this happens - frustration about not being able to do what I set out to do, and then the memory of my past reactions came flooding to me in an instant. Memories about past reactions of mine (interject past regrets turned into future lessons) came flooding in (goodbye frustration over stopping my intended blog post) - and I realized that many of my less than stellar moments in parenting came as a result of me not being in, and surrendering to the moment that I was living. This happened almost always, when I was in my head, trying to figure out how to finish, do, or get what I wanted vs actually being present in what is happening at the moment. This is something that happens to many of us, a lot.
One of my tribe members, posted about her frustrations because she had a huge list of to dos and a baby who is needing of her attention, and here my little one is causing me to stop my plans, and I have to do something other than what I thought I was going to do, and I must say that the likelihood of this is pretty grand considering that small children always need us - but nonetheless I find the timing to be synchronistic and almost magical - because you see, somewhere in my time to reflect upon her circumstances and my own similarities, I've come to remember the simple fact that the reason that I, and a lot of us suffer is because sometimes in the moment - with our children - we are trying to live in a moment that is not where we are. As seasons change, and certain times of the year invite certain feelings or times in our lives: i.e. summer: socialization, fall: introspection/shedding, winter: introspection/solitude, spring: renewal/rebirth, etc., the same is true with our families and times with our children...as the seasons we too have different periods in our lives - and within our families - that call for different modes...when I understood this a few years ago, it became one of the most freeing bits of knowledge that I was gifted, because some of the hardest periods in my life with my children came when I was trying to live in a "season' that was not conducive to the time that I was living.
I've gotten to the point where I realize that sometimes my home needs me to be hands on, and in others I will need be to be an observer. There are times where I have to schedule my personal time super late or very early in the morning, or times when my kids will be so into an activity or thing (we homeschool) that I can do what I need to do during any time of the day. Learning which is necessary at which time, is like unlocking the key to a store of magic...as I've grown wiser through all of the trials that have come and gone, I am reminded to let go of what I thought was supposed to be, and was met instead with what is. I learned that letting go is not the same as giving up - that there is power in surrendering to now - and that now holds more lessons for growth and love than a plan of what I had to do, but was not possible right now. I learned about the power in surrendering, trusting the process, while putting away my shoulds and woulds that usually cause severe reactions to the ones around me. I learned that the things that have to happen always happen anyway, and that even when the moment is rough, that there is a reason and a purpose for it...There will always be things to, finish and/or prepare, but when I understand where I am now and work with that, I am usually surprised by what happens, and I don't go into the frustration or react in ways (past regrets turned to future lessons lol) that don't line up with the way that I want to treat my children...and hey look, my baby fell asleep, and this blog post was written anyway.
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Let's talk about how we can start to learn about stories, behaviors and habits, and learn to move forward now, shall we? For starters, let's talk about the principles of energy. Everything that is, is made up of energy: us, our children, our lives, our loved ones. As we move through life, the energy that is within us, is made up of the many different experiences that we've had, and are shaped by our perception or the way that we view life.
Our children, as we are, have certain energies that are present within them - believe it or not, all children are born, carrying the energy of the time before their birth (up to a year before their birth and your pregnancy). This energy that they carry within, manifests without as emotions, predispositions in behavior, preferences...this is why many times, we instinctively tell pregnant women, not to be in places that may cause them upset or may cause them or their baby harm. We know this emotionally, but when we think about the effect of what this means, after the baby is born, a lot of things can come into perspective. When we start to apply this, to who our children are now, it is possible to not only understand certain behaviors, and predispositions, but we can also learn how to start to move into different situations with an intuitive understanding of what we need to do to help our child in a way that is helpful for them.
This understanding, is more helpful to us, when our children are still very small. I'd say possibly under three years old. This is because as they start to get older, their personalities and reactions start to become colored by experiences that they have within their world - but, the younger that a child is, the more true they are to their nature - to the essence of who they are. If you have a younger child, who you'd like to try to understand in this way (or an older child, who you want to start to trace and understand some of their core personality or traits), one of the best ways to start, is to start to look at the time before your pregnancy, your pregnancy, and their birth - energetically. For instance, you can ask yourself, did I have a calm pregnancy? What was that time like? When I think about that time, was I excited? Was I timid to life and fearful? Was I ready to leap into life? How did I feel about myself and the people around me? What was my outlook? Then begin to look at your child and their predispositions. Does anything about who they are remind you of the times before or during your pregnancy? How can you use this understanding to help them now? Or to help you view and react with them in a way that is helpful and conducive to creating balance?
Another exercise, is to start to look at your birth. Our births are great examples, and predictors into future stuff with our children. I can literally go back into the birth of all of my kids, and think of a few adjectives that describe them. For example, my twin son's birth, was done via a c-sec., and they are both, very analytical, they are practical, and very logical...as to where my daughter's births were in a birthing center, where I labored naturally with little to no intervention from my midwives, and they are both very free spirited. They have a very organic view of themselves and life. My last baby's birth was very long, and it was a practice in patience. This little dude is just like this. It takes him a long while to open up to things that are new or take him a while to open up to, and I know that I have to have a lot of patience with him when it comes to anything that is new. Understanding them in this way, helps me guide them in ways that are helpful to their personalities. I don't expect them to be any one that they are not. These are all energetic things that I notice about my children, in relation to my birth, but there is also so much more, that will just be too long to get into now...but you get the point.
The purpose for me telling you this, is because #1 when we start to understand the core of who our children are and their energetic make up, we can stop fighting who they are and align ourselves with their needs...especially when they are younger and we are still figuring things out - and #2 because I sincerely believe that it's time for us to start to understand how the energies that are present within our home, are playing out in our lives...as they say, energy speaks louder than works, and in a world that is made up of energy, the one who understands it, is king (in your case queen - my goal is to help you start to understand how these energies are playing out in your home, so that you can realign and find harmony)...
...now, of course this is not the be all end all of why certain behaviors or things that we don't fully understand occur - this is just the beginning...it's the tip of the iceberg, and only a basic understanding to the energies that make a part of our children and our selves, and how they shape and affect our homes. Beyond this, there are other factors that come into learning how to understand our children so that we can align with the natural flow of who they are and guide them in a way in which we struggle less, but it is my purpose to start to begin these conversations, so that mothers can learn how to begin to understand their children in a more holistic way.
To learn more about how to understand these principles, and how to apply them into your live, you can schedule a call with me HERE, or book a reading with me HERE.
Soul Mama Blog
Blog to help mamas, on their journey: with the various parts of motherhood and life.