In my last blog post called, I hurt and heal - so that I can help you do it too, I spoke about, how I heal myself from past stuff so that I can help my mama tribe to do it too, and also talked about the fact that I do this because I know that in order to be the best mama that I can be for my kids, I have to heal the parts of my self and the little girl within me that is hurt...
...I learned a long time ago that when I don't do this, I can't mother without inputing the hurt into them. It's hard to heal their hurts and take them into the future untouched from my past, when I am stuck in behaviors, thoughts, habits, etc. that bubble up in my rough moments. My goal has always been to raise loving humans who don't have to undo their past stuff, and who are true to themselves and their potential, while honoring the same in those around them. Humans who don't have to strip away layers of childhood trauma in order to live fully - so I heal. I heal so that I can provide them this wholeness, which allows me to see them for who they are, and not for who I was told that I or they, should be.
Seeing this process work through and taking action on this sounds beautiful in writing, I know, and I know that I make it seem the process seem magical and full of faerie dust, but the truth is that it is emotional work, and it is full of dark feelings and emotions that I'd rather not face, but it is necessary in order for me to move into a space of consciously allowing light to flow freely within myself and within them...and today I want to leave you with an idea of how I go about this process, so that you too can move into this space and start to heal. The moments that I start to feel something negative, yucky or dark come up:
These things are not easy to do. They are not for the weary. Doing this kind of work is hard, and grueling. It makes one face things that are not easy to understand. It makes me raw and vulnerable. I am learning lessons over and over, in different levels of things that I thought that I'd cleared - BUT when the process is done, and I am clear, I contentiously move into a space of creation within my home and with my children. Every level allows me to go deeper into my purpose - and with each depth, comes the gifts of service - and for this I am always rewarded with a new perspective and clarity.
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Soul Mama Blog
Blog to help mamas, on their journey: with the various parts of motherhood and life.