While many women dream of becoming doctors, lawyers and CEOs, some of us dream of becoming mothers.
Unfortunately, many women are robbed of that precious gift, due to infant loss or infertility.
According to the March of Dimes, as many as 50% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. That's about 1 in 4 women...
....I happened to be that "1" in 4.
And after being left with unanswered questions and the option of fertility drugs, (which never addresses the deep-rooted issue) I begin to search for natural alternatives. In my quest, I was awakened to my innate abilities to heal myself and birthed a vibrant prince!
My name is Angelique Jefferson, often referred to as the ‘Womb Whisperer’, I help women who struggle with fertility issues, welcome new life into their bodies. Through personalized holistic methods for the mind, body and soul, I help women release emotional trauma, enhance their reproductive health and create new life.
The key to holistic conception is to tap into your inherited power, as the divine feminine and heed to your body's whispers.
In preparing for pregnancy, it's not only important to cultivate the physical body, but the emotional and mental bodies. We carry so much within our wombs: resentment, anger, jealousy, envy, guilt, secrets, lies, shame, etc. These emotions (energy-in-motion) manifest as dis-ease in the physical body and oftentimes, are passed down to the next generation.
When faced with challenges of trying to conceive, it's imperative to look deeper within. Unfortunately, many women are unaware of underlying issues that require time to heal. This leads to desperation and drugs - further burying the issue, leaving it to fester into a bigger problem.
Biologist, Dr. Bruce Lipton, states:
"Your children's genes reflect only their potential, not their destiny. It is up to you to provide the environment that allows them to develop to their highest potential."
This suggests that your cells are programmed with information from past experiences, despite whether you've forgotten about them, suppressed or ignored them..they're still there lingering in the closet ready to attach to the soul of your baby at conception. All of who we are, become apart of the signature imprint our baby!
As a Sacred Holistic Fertility Coach, I express to my clients that, “woven in every perceived circumstance, is a potential gift" - that gift is that you have the opportunity to not only prepare for conception but create an ideal internal environment for your baby to develop to their highest potential. Within you is the innate ability to gain control of your fertility health.
Whether it's PCOS, multiple miscarriages, irregular periods or unexplained infertility, it all boils down to this:
Are you willing to do that which is required of you on behalf of the lineages you represent?
A mother has a grand responsibility in shaping the future. Children come to the world with seeded soulful missions and our duty is to help nurture those seeds so they blossom into purposeful members of humanity.
How can we as mothers do this for our children if we haven't taken the time to cultivate who we truly are?
This is why a part of my mission and divine calling is to help facilitate the future teachers, light bearers and healers, in navigating through mothers who are healed, forgiving, loving and being their best self.
This is how we co-create a Legacy of Love, THIS is TRUE Generational Wealth!
Are willing and ready to build your legacy and welcome new life into your body?
Visit me at Lotusmamalove.com
You can also find me on Instagram & Facebook at Angelique Jefferson.
I love you with my highest love.
It’s easy to think that something may be happening to us and that the events of our lives come to us as a result of our something that is randomly pushing the buttons, but I believe that everything in our lives happen for the reason of helping us move forward, and as a result of something that is moving me forward - and the events of the last few weeks have confirmed this.
It seems that life has plans for me that are bigger than where I have been living and it is apparent in the synchronicity that has been flowing into my every day: a few weeks ago, I was asked by a client, if I channel the mothers - not the higher self of mothers like you and I, but their mothers (grand and great-grandmothers) - in her case her deceased mom. My response was, let’s do this, and a few weeks later, I find myself in a space of adding one of the most important and powerful readings that I have ever had the privilege to introduce: the Ancestor/Maternal Lineage Soul Reading℠. I didn’t know it at the time, but this reading came into being at a time in life where we mothers need it the most. It started off with me connecting to her mama in spirit, and turned into generational healing instead. In a time where a lot of us are feeling our mother wounds caused by millenniums of patriarchy, lost and disconnected matriarchs, and a system in which the nurturing and healing of the children (who’ve now turned into the mothers and fathers) was lost. The bright side is that it has begun to surface, in the ways that we see now:
I believe that if you are reading this, and any or some of these things spoke to you, chances are that you are one of the mamas/women who are here at this time to bring forth the changes that are happening…and I am here to say that you are not alone, and I am here to help you, with the service that was called into me: the Ancestral/Maternal Lineage Soul Readings. Although it they didn't start this way, starting online with the intention of connecting with someone's mama on the other side, but they soon turned into more...
...and as I stated, these readings were brought just in time. A time when the world is experiencing much upheaval...and I am ready to answer my calling to bring it all together. These readings bring so much clarity because they get the the core of the problems that you are facing individually - problems caused by the mother wound:
and by a system that began way before you got here. They get to the core of the problems cause within the maternal family line. During each call the energies that are present within the maternal line and your ancestry become present and they come up to heal and help you move forward. The women who have come before step in and shed light on the hurts that have happened and were passed down the generations. They pinpoint where the pain began, and give a full understanding of why you are feeling blocked in your everyday, within yourself, your child or your life - within your lienage. They reconnect you to the past mothers, grandmothers, aunts etc. in your maternal line, those who have come before and have contributed to the energies that are present now. The pain that was passed down from one generation to the other - as well as the strength. The pain that you don’t want to pass onto your children and want to rid from your life, and they offer you the gift of knowing with absolute clarity what it is that you are here to do - and how you’re healing for them, your child, and yourself right now.
Because the truth is that we all experience life according to what our inner world is telling us. We get stuck in patterns and loops of thought, behavior and emotions that drive our lives without us being aware - and this reading came at the right time for us all. Because it is here to help you cut to the chase and get right into what’s happening and what you’re creating, so that you can begin to heal the mother wound caused by the hurt of patriarchy and the inability for the matriarchs to live in their power. This reading gets into the present energies and shows you a mirror into what you’ve been living with, what was passed down to you, how it has affected your life and the changes that you can make to live free from the chains of the hurt caused as a result of not knowing - it also connects the dots with your children and helps you understand what you’re working through with them and how they help you in healing the hurt.
Many of us walk around unaware of the things that we are holding onto or the way that these hurts are affecting us deeply. Some of us feel the need to fight for something, are angry, deeply sad, or depressed, and don’t know why. It’s hard to understand what that the origins of these feelings are, as a result of trauma and hurt that has been caused by generational stories carried down, and things that have been visited onto us, but the truth is that we no longer have to be burdened by these energies. We can use the energies of time that is available now and being to understand and heal. We can use these energies to transform our understanding and perceptions, so that we don’t have to pass these down to our children…we can begin to heal.
I feel blessed to have been given the ability to help mothers and women in this way - I understand that the time for us and for our healing is here, and am continually in awe over the ability for spirit to always bring into my life the necessary things needed for me to keep moving into a space to keep helping more mamas and women begin to heal and move forward…and although this is just the beginning, what a powerful begging it is…to learn more about these specific readings, please contact me here.
We had a newborn and a three-year-old. My husband (MJ) was in a haze of pain from regular migraines, I in one of fatigue. We were both cranky.
I sat in front of my computer 10–16 hours every day, trying to work but spending hours as a social-media zombie. Probably once a day, I heard MJ yelling at the kids, and the kids crying. I would help calm the situation, then go back to slogging through my work, mentally walking through cold molasses.
Finally, sometime after midnight, I would climb into bed with a happy sigh and a huge grin at the thought of an hour or two of sleep before the baby woke to nurse or our daughter woke screaming.
She would shriek like someone was murdering her.
Exhausted, panicked, I frantically tried to quiet her so she wouldn’t wake everyone else. When she was finally calm and I tried to go back to sleep, she scream like a banshee again. Back to her room I went, quietly imploring her to go back to sleep.
Twenty minutes later, more screaming. I would again rush to her room, my voice rising as I begged, pleaded, “I have to sleep. I need sleep. Please, please… please, for the love of … why won’t you sleep?!”
Then I would hear myself yelling, “You are going to wake everyone else up. It is nighttime. It is time for sleep. People are trying to sleep!”
I felt ashamed at my loss of control. Something needed to change, but what? And how?
Our Life Savers
Then I discovered Hal Elrod’s book The Miracle Morning. I liked the idea of getting a better handle on my life by using the Life SAVERS (silence, affirmations, visualization, exercise, reading, scribing)—but how in the world could I get up an hour before my kids to do this?! It was all I could do to stumble out of bed when they woke me in the mornings.
I was desperate, though, so I gave it a shot. It worked … sort of.
I started daily self-care again, brushing my teeth, flossing, exercising … even showering! (When did I stop doing these things? I wondered.)
But I felt good enough—almost human again—that I kept going.
Even from his haze of pain and sleepiness, MJ noticed the change in me, so he started doing the Life SAVERS too.
Our days were so much better when we did the SAVERS before the kids woke up, but we still had to claw ourselves out of bed each morning, sometimes before the kids. But I often fell asleep in my silence. And affirmations. And visualization. And reading.
We were seeing enough improvements to stay determined, though, so we muddled through.
Then MJ discovered Shawn Stevenson’s book Sleep Smarter. We were already doing most things Stevenson suggested, but implementing those last few things made a tremendous difference. Suddenly, with sleep in order, everything started falling into place.
A Whole New Family
MJ’s migraines dropped from affecting him every day to only once or twice a month. He went from being anxious about almost everything to calm, even cheerful. Our interpersonal interactions are more considerate, more thoughtful. We treat everyone—including ourselves—with more respect.
We worry less and are present, engaged with our lives, our children, and each other. We accomplish much more every day. We keep our tempers. We rarely yell. Our house is much more peaceful.
Through trial and error, we have 5 essentials that we must to do daily to live this new, better life:
1. Shut off electronics at least 1 1/2 hour before the household’s earliest bedtime--and keep them out of sleeping spaces.
2. Use topical magnesium spray. (Ingested magnesium isn’t nearly as efficacious.) The easiest way to do this is with an epsom-salt soak. MJ, our daughter, and I soak our feet each evening as part of our electronics-free time. (MJ needs more magnesium to keep his headaches down, so he also uses a magnesium spray, which can be purchased or made at home.)
3. Increased physical activity. (Do any activity that you enjoy, but when movement is aligned with breathing, as in yoga or Tai Chi, it can double as silence/meditation.)
4. Silence/meditation. (This brings your attention to the present moment, to observe from a place of detachment. After steady practice, you find a state of calm that you can more easily call to mind when disturbances and agitation arise during the day.)
5. Education/personal development. (Focus on anything you like … anything. The point is to make constant incremental improvement in some aspect of your life. Eventually, you start thinking in whole new ways and getting more creative in everyday problem solving.)
When we do numbers 1 and 2, we fall asleep faster and have better-quality sleep. Then it’s easier to get up when the alarm goes off, which makes numbers 3–5 even easier to do.
Thanks to implementing these strategies, something has shifted in us.
We are hopeful and have found new purpose. We examine everything in our lives, improving what works and eliminating what doesn’t. We are more fully present for everyone. We are kinder, gentler, more understanding. We are better models for our children, who also behave better, sleep better, and are more cheerful.
It all started with the Miracle Morning and sleeping smarter.
- Stephanie R.S. Stringham
You read the title of this blog post and probably wondered what the heck is wrong with this woman. How can I find joy in frustrating moments? I'm a mom, and there is so much to do, where is the joy in my to do list?
Well, I'm here to tell you that there is plenty of joy to be found. The key lever in discovering this joy is in how you look at the situation. I know it is hard. With all the demands on our plates as moms, it is a challenge to remember to slow down and be joyful. The beautiful thing is we have a choice in everything we do and with that choice comes the opportunity to find joy.
For example, your children make a mess in the living room after you have cleaned up. When my kids make these kinds of choices, it infuriates me. I mean, they just saw me cleaning up and here they go creating a mess. It is frustrating and hard to get past, but at that moment I have a choice to make. I can scream at them for what they just did, or I can take a few breaths to calm down and look for some joy at the moment. When I give the situation a fresh look, I see my children playing creatively, safely and happily. I realize I can use this moment to teach them how to clean up their mess and how to help mommy when she is cleaning.
It doesn't happen seamlessly every time. There are times when I blow up and just let my rage take over. However, I keep those moments to a minimum.
I want my children to have happy memories of their time with me. Life does happen, so all of our times together won't be happy ones, but I can make a choice to find happiness more often than not.
Finding your Joy in Frustrating Moments
1. Release expectations that everything must be perfect.
Just because you cleaned the house doesn't mean it has to be spic and span. Know that there is beauty in the imperfections, and by releasing your expectations, you are allowing more joy to come your way.
2. Take a deep breath before making a choice.
When you feel your body tensing and the frustration boiling, take a deep breath. Let the breath bring relaxation into your body. Wait until that breath is released before making choices.
3. Look for moments of joy.
Purposefully look for the moments of happiness. Make an effort to look for the laughter and the happiness at the moment.
You have a choice whether to be joyful or to be frustrated. What choice will you make?
- Elly Blanco
Would you like to write for us, too? You can learn more about it HERE.
I long time ago, I would've said that all a mother has to do is follow her heart. But today, I find that this is no longer true for me. Now. Before you get angry let me explain.
I do believe that we mamas have to listen to our hearts, because that is where our feelings are, it is where we tap into what's going on, and the emotions that are present at any moment. But the problem is that it's not enough, because our hearts can put in in places where we are subjecting ourselves or our children to things or situations that are not the best for us. We are by nature sensitive and emotional creatures - add our children to that and forget it, we will be lost in our emotions for way too long.
The purpose of our hearts is to connect us with our emotions - the problem however comes when we listen to our emotions to the point that logic or reason also go out of the window. Our emotions are for us to feel, and not to think with. This is the purpose of them. Feeling. Not thinking. This is why, the hardest thing to do is to think clearly when we are emotional: sad, angry, happy. We become lost in our emotions and then react - they cloud our judgments. They bring automatic reactions: or reactions that come from a place deep within, that we don't fully understand.
For instance, just recently, my three year old went through a period in which he wanted to do nothing more than watch videos on mine or daddy's phone. In the beginning it was not a big deal, and we let him do it for a while...then we began to realize that this was becoming all that he wanted to do...for a short while, we allowed because he was upset and sad, and so we thought 'alright not a big deal. It's for a short amount of time, and he's ok. He's not bothering anyone, it's only a few videos.' Then it became more and more. Now, at first my heart was sad, because I didn't want to see him sad. I didn't want my little guy to cry and become upset. My heart hurt and I wanted to make him better...but my logic knew that there was something wrong with this. He was becoming obsessed with it. He was opting out of play with his siblings, curios exploration, and things that are normal for a three year old, because he was looking forward to the moment when he could watch videos on the phones. My heart was sad over the situation, but my gut told me that this was not right, and we began to take the phone away and set limits with the time. Sure he became upset, but I took it as a cue to let him feel his feelings in their entirety...so what is one to follow when the heart isn't fully the right answer? I'll tell you. Your instincts.
As women, and mothers we have great instincts. We know in our guts and can feel when something is not working out instinctively (as what was happening with my three year old). We often become aware of when things need changes or need to be adjusted by the way that it feels to us. Listening to our instincts, our spirits and souls, do a much better job at helping us to understand what is right for our children and families.
Our hearts are our guides. They show us what emotions are in front of us. It provides us with a glimpse into the energies that are present - but it can be deceiving when we are still not fully aware how to separate our emotions from our reactions. However, our instincts/the small little voice that is within, the one that always had the answers when you needed it, doesn't misguide you, because that voice is a part of your pure self. It is in contact with the divine. It knows the truth as soon as it comes across it...and this is where the answers come from. From that silent place when all of the emotions from the heart have been processed.
So the next time you're wrestling with something, listen to what your heart is feeling, and then tap into your instincts - to the divine flow that knows the answer, and combine the two, to help you create magic...
...as far as my three year old, he still watches videos, from time to time, but the limits that have been set, have created a much more balanced little dude, who's day is full of more natural play and normal three year old curiosity.
P.S If you're curious about how you can move into a space of more flow and connection. If you want to experience the life aligning experience of a Soul Reading, where I connect you to and channel your higher self , the higher self of your child or a baby in spirit can schedule them Here...to read about other experiences in readings, go HERE...or just schedule NOW.
As the New Year approaches, I am reminded that nothing ever stays the same - which is funny because in the world of a mama, its easy for a day to feel repetitive and slow, and yet, the years go fast. In last week's blog post, I spoke about how I realized that the time was passing me by, about how my kids were growing up right in front of me, and I gave a few of my own personal reminders that help me get through the rougher moments. Today I want to talk about the other side of this: how I learned to follow the flow and understand what these changing times are trying to tell me, so that I can move with them.
We all know that time passes, seasons change and nothing stays the same forever, however, that's not the part where we get stuck. We get stuck in the moment to moment, where the changes are actually happening and we are trying to create or move into what's being created. For instance, when we have a two year old who's becoming a three year old, we know that he is going through a change, he's getting older. But what is also happening is that the way he understands and views the world, and himself in it, is also changing. He goes from wanting to touch everything around him all of the time - beyond what you tell him - into wanting to control things around him, i.e.: the "no" phase; I don't want to; "I do it" followed by "help me" (my personal favorite *insert sarcasm*). This, to many of us looks like defiance (because it's what we were taught) but the reality of this stage, is that it's teaching them to be autonomous and have autonomy over their person, body, and what they do, they learn how to stand up for themselves, etc... This stage helps them explore what they can and cannot do. It helps them navigate what they do and don't have control over - but the problem is not this stage within them, per say, but more so, our inability to allow this stage to sometimes flourish properly because our autopilot reactions, stories, and themes, take a front row seat during this time. This time, can be a very difficult time for a lot of us, because it requires that in many cases we give up control and instead become passengers to their learning. During this time of change, where we are trying our best to keep up with new need, while attempting to be the best parent to our child, while simulaniously setting appropriate limits, and keeping from loosing our s#&*^ more often. This, of course, is only one example of many times of change...so what is a mama to do? How does one navigate the changes that happen during each stage through out our kid's lives and our own?
To answer this as simply as possible: you tune in. When I first started to figure out how to understand my home, so that I could create what I wanted vs living in autopilot, the first thing that I did was to learn about the normal stages in childhood, and what was developmentally appropriate, so that I could then understand what I was putting into the moment, and then I tuned into what I had going on within. I got to know myself deeply. Intimately. My thoughts. My reactions. My actions. I learned that when I understood where they were, I could understand what the story was that I was creating around them. I could then understand myself deeply, and react appropriately to what was happening without. Also, understanding what I had going on within me. Where I am, figuring out what flow I am in: is it time for introspection; is it time for action; time to observe; time for planning? Each time has a different tone. A different purpose. Each season has a purpose and is bringing us to something. When we learn to tune into these flows within us, we can begin to understand the purpose of season and time. What each is leading us into. Into what you're growing and changing into.
I realized that if I was to put into my children and home the things that they/we needed I had to go within and understand first. I had to first figure out what was going on, so that I can put in what would help all of us move forward. This is a a great part of me being a conscious parent. Of allowing the spirituality in my parenting journey to help me move forward with what is needed. This does not mean that I don't have times, where I am in the midst of feelings. What it means instead, is that I use everything: moments of clarity, uncertainty, understanding, sadness, quiet, non-flow, to give me a bigger understanding of what is needed from me, to move into, and what it needed to create what I desire, and what's in the best interest for all of us.
It is true that I have an "in," in that I can read and understand the energies of myself, children and home: a service that I provide moms in the forms of my Soul Readings℠, where I channel the higher self of mamas, their children, and their babies in spirit, for clarity and understanding and help to flow, but it does not mean that you can't tap into this and parts of it and do it too, to help you move into creation.
For the New Year I want to leave you with three things to help you move into this space within yourself:
1) Get in touch with your feelings and take responsibility for them - I am feeling sad, vs. you made me sad. (Our feelings come from within us, and are born as a result of something that happened in the past that is being triggered now.) Others trigger our feelings, but they are not responsible for them.
2) Start to challenge yourself, to understand why you're feeling something. Your feelings help you understand what your working on and learning what to move into. Let them show you where your incomfortability lies, so that you can begin to understand where your next step is. When you understand what you don't want, or what you don't like, you can being to move into what will take you into alignment, and flow.
3) Allow yourself to be OK wher you are, and being OK with that. Sometimes, we want to hurry up and move into the next phase right now, but now may not be the right time - you might be just gathering knowlwedge and information - signified by lack of clarity or not being sure of what's next; or sometimes right now is a time to take action - signified by a lot of synchronicities and opportunities to take a leap. To be OK with now, because it's where you are, will help you move into the next phase.
I'll put it this way, if I would've been taken out of the time of having four small children under 4 and transplanted into now, I would probably not be able to handle where I am now, becase I would not be able to properly balance everything that I juggle at this point - but that phase taught me to organize. Every step takes us into another, and what we are learning at the moment helps us move into the next phase. We all have an individual journey that is helping us grow. Tuning into that "right NOW" is where the magic happens - allowing the stages in their changes, and the moments to teach you, you allow yourself to flow into the magic.
The last few weeks have been full of changes for us. Changes that are full of emotions which turn on my natural reaction of wanting to flee (something that used to happen a lot when my brood was much younger); flee into a screen, social media, or other things that look like this. Changes like the way that we homeschool, the way that my home is run, the way that I am eating, and lots of other small things that send me into a place of wanting to escape into a quiet sanctuary...but as beautifully syncronized as life is, last night I found baby pictures that I hadn't seen in a long time, and I took this as a reminder to stay present, and stay off of devices.
As I was looking through my kid's baby pictures, and nostalgia hit me, I realized how much they've grown through the stages of our lives that have been frozen in these stills, I was reminded about how fast time flies, and how much they change in what seems like such a short amount of time - the most daunting thing of all, is that they are changing right in front my eyes.
I started then to wonder how much time do we really all have? Is it ever enough? In our fast paced lives: rush here, go there, clean this, do that, how much time am I really devoting to spending quality time with my loved ones? All of my babies' round faced smiles have been replaced with longer faced grins, and as each year goes on, I realize how the natural separation happens. How the ones who wanted to spend all day with me, are more naturally wanting to spend their time doing things other than following me around the house, and asking me ten-thousand questions. I realize that the time is slipping through and that those soft eyes that once looked at me with adoration, are now filled with worldly curiousity - and suddenly, I was reminded about the fact that the moments pass by, and that it's easy to fill them with things and to-dos and lists of things to complete - it's easy to loose sight of the magic that is happening at every turn...and last-night, I was reminded once again, that the moments that matter are the ones that we share in-between when things seem to be going haywire - and these pictures reminded me of the importance of my presence.
I was reminded to stay present because time is fleeting. I was reminded that once time is gone, that there is no way to get it back. And mostly, I am reminded that changes always happen, and all I have to do is to keep taking care of myself in the way that I've learned over the years, so that I can allow myself to be as present and aware as possible.
It's easy to get lost in the moments, and want to naturally escape when things feel rough, but for today, I want to remind you of a few things that I've come to realize over the years:
1) Everything has a season and a reason. Just because I don't understand what's happening doesn't mean that there is not a reason for it.
2) I am always learning and moving forward. Just because I don't see the value in a rough moment, does not mean that there is none.
3) The way that I behave during times of change and stress is far reaching - and has a greater impact on the times of calm.
4) All kids go through similar stages, during similar times. My job is to tune into the stage, and into how my child is processing the stage and move into it accordingly...
5) ...and the most important one of all, for me, treating myself with as much grace as I want them to be treated and I would like others to treat me through times of change, is the best medicine in the world.
During this holiday season, I want to remind you that you are always where you need to be. I want to shine a light into how fast everything goes, and I want you to take a moment to enjoy the fleeting times, that can sometimes become clouded with to-dos, lists, things and rushes. To stop, take a breath, and remember that the baby years go fast, and that one day before you know it, you'll be looking at old pictures and thinking where did the time go. But most of all, I want to remind myself, as I remind you, that changes don't always have to be so difficult - although they can be challenging - when I remember that nothing ever stays the same, and at some point I will look back at pictures, as I did last night, of now, and start to wonder where did the time go.
Mother/Daughter: The Most Intense, Powerful Relationship you will Ever Have in Your Life (Guest Blog)
Standing in my mother’s kitchen hearing the words ‘I don’t love you and I will never change’, went through me like a knife but these were the words that I needed to hear to change my life. Why would a woman in her forties need to be accepted, praised and loved by her mother; why would she care about this when she was happily married with three healthy children of her own?
Because even after all these years the feelings to be accepted and loved were as strong was ever; words may fade away but emotions and feelings remain as intense as ever.
You can understand the 4-year-old putting her finger under the sewing needle to stop her mother sewing as she demanded attention. It makes sense that the 6-year-old would pull up the plants in the garden as the child pleaded her mother to acknowledge her and leave tending the vegetables. You would expect the 11-year-old to sob her heart out when she was left at boarding school in another country and the 16-year-old to cause argument after argument for any sort of attention.
But the fortysomething woman craving that same attention now she has her own life just doesn’t make sense.
Or does it?
This is my story but one that will resonate with millions of women around the world, a well-kept secret full of shame, resentment and hurt. If your own mother can’t love you, the very woman who bore you can’t praise, accept or value you, how could you possibly be worthy? So you spend a life craving these feelings from everyone else, becoming a needy person, and feeling worthless, useless, of little value and broken.
This relationship is so powerful that it affects the interaction with your partner, your children, your friends and yourself. This incredible bond, which was once based on love, can turn to anger, resentment, and guilt ruining your whole life.
Are you desperately trying to
· seek your mother’s approval,
· strive for her acceptance,
· win her praise,
· gain her acknowledgment
· yearn for that maternal warmth
· crave her love only to be disappointed in every effort you make
· and it just never comes?
With all of this trying and needing are you left:
· with such low self-esteem
· feeling worthless
· with utter guilt
· which ends up affecting every area of your life?
Until, you decide that you don’t need anything from anyone, least of all your mother – you really don’t need praise, affection, attention or love from anyone for you have all of this inside of you. The day that happens is the day you begin your journey of freedom. The journey is hard, it is slow, it is painful but it is truly the most astounding thing you will ever do in your life and it will give you such freedom and strength you could never have dreamt of.
Having totally transformed my life, Mum and I now have a loving relationship, we’ve been on holiday together, she visits for two weeks at a time but the greatest gifts are the paradigm is no longer alive in our family and I have given Mum the gift of healing herself.
Here are a few tips to start your healing journey TODAY.
1. STOP TRYING to - make things work, make things better, please your mother, say the ‘right’ things, ‘do’ the ‘right’ things, as it doesn't, work. You may have been trying this for years and feel even more disappointed.
2. Have NO EXPECTATION from your mother – when you phone her do not expect her to respond in a certain way, do not expect her to be happy for you, hug you, cheer you on or be interested in anything you have to say. When you stop the expectation you also protect yourself from being disappointed.
3. Understand that you DO NOT NEED anything from your mother – YOU ARE ENOUGH. You really do not need her affection, her praise, her validation, her approval or her love because you are enough.
4. The HEALING is all about YOU. For perhaps the first time in your life put yourself first, which means taking time for you, meeting your needs, meeting your own expectations, making you feel good. You’ve probably even forgotten how to do this after all of these years.
5. The healing process is one of acceptance of whom you are, letting go of the lack of need for your mother’s love in any form, re-writing the perspective of your past and finally the FORGIVENESS for both you and your mother.
We all deserve a life of peace and fulfilment – we all have a choice in life, will you be the one to make that change? What are you waiting for? Miracles aren’t out there – you create them!
- Louise Armstrong
Family Relationship Coach
Having suffered a lifelong destructive relationship with her own mother which also impacted on the relationship with her eldest daughter, Louise has managed to heal both of these entirely alone. Louise was invited to train as a Coach, NLP Practitioner, Theta Healer and now a Hypnotherapist through the turnaround in her own personal life; leaving behind trading the financial futures markets. Louise also specialises in mother-daughter relationship healing, as this relationship is the most intense, powerful relationship you will ever have, affecting every relationship you form in your life.
Louise has been very happily married to Ian for almost 28 years, has lived in Dubai for over 14 years and has 3 grown up children, Charlotte 26 years, James 25 years and Sophie 23 years, all now working and independent!
Her mission is to help as many people as is possible to enjoy loving relationships as she feels these are fundamental to living a happy life.
To visit her Website: www.louise-armstrong.com to message her directly: firstname.lastname@example.org
Over the years, there has been one constant in my life, and that is the ability to always go into myself and look for the answers to the things that plague me at the moment...from child behavior, to personal crises in my world. I have always been able to get to the center of whatever issue I need to face, and today I want to share with you how I do this. So that no matter what's going on, you can look within and figure out what the events or occurrences mean and what to do about it...
We have all heard phrases like: everything that you need is all within you; the answers are inside; or, everything that you need is right here (in the heart), but the problem is not the saying or this thought, it's with actually accessing that space but instead, how does one actually access this space...
Because of this, I created Realignment. A FREE VIDEO where I share a bit of what unbalance looks like, how it affects our families, and tips of how I move forward, realign myself (and my 5 kids), so that you can realign and move forward too. I want you to learn how to always come back to center no matter what you have going on. This is going to be featured in a Self Care Event that I am going to be participating in - more details to come next week!!
In the meantime, I want you to start to Realign Your Self with your inner world, so that you can once again find balance and begin to get into your heart space - and lead from the heart. My wish, is that all of us (mothers) get into the space where we begin to realign ourselves with our heart space and core, so that we can keep healing and heal our children forward. I believe that when we step into our heart space, and access our power, we can move mountains. Go HERE to access the video.
P.S. You still have time to schedule a Soul Reading at special HOLIDAY PRICING $60 for 45 min. normally as $90 value. To schedule go HERE
Today, on Thanksgiving eve, I want to take a moment to point out to you how far you've come.
I want you to see yourself three years ago, two years ago, or even one - and see that woman that you were, and send her some love. Being grateful for the lessons learned in-between that time and today.
I want you to see how important your growth has been, and the important lessons that you have learned since then. I know that there is as deep part of you, that through the trials, through the fire, and through the mountains that you have climbed, is deliriously proud, of the woman who you are now, as a result of everything...today I want you to honor her and give thanks.
Give thanks for the one constant in your life, your ability to keep going forward. Give thanks, for the little people who have propelled you into where you are now...and give thanks for the received blessings through these times, disguised as difficulties, that have allowed you to shed the skin that no longer fits.
During these festive times, it easy to forget ourselves, as we plan, prepare, and do. But allow me to give you the permission to take a moment, take a deep breath, center yourself, and go back to this younger version of yourself to see how far you've come, and in your inhale take in your blessings and while you exhale release what no longer is...
allow how far you've come, your strength, perseverance and the love that you have for you little(s), bless you in the spirit of Thanksgiving. Allow it to bless your home. Allow it to bless yourself. Allow the reflection of you Soul Journey, to heal you and move you forward.
As a gift, to welcome the holidays, I want to give you a special ONE TIME pricing offer, for a Soul Reading, of your choice for the ONE TIME offer for a 45 min. reading for $60. To book your time today, click HERE. If you know someone who needs this, please share.
Happy Thanksgiving ❤️
Soul Mama Blog
Blog to help mamas, on their journey: with the various parts of motherhood and life.